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10-Year-Old Girl Interviews Her A-Hole Cat

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If you’ve ever petted a cat for a moment too long, you know what happens next: you will be receiving end of a bite or a scratch on the hand. Since cats can’t talk, a hand-bite or a hand-scratch is the best way to communicate that petting time is OVER.

But what if cats COULD talk? How would they tell us their petting preferences then? These are the questions that 10-year-old Gabi Duane of Ireland wondered about her own cat, Coco, and so she sat her furry friend down for a one-on-one “interview.”

Photo Credit: Paul Duane

Gabi’s father Paul Duane spotted a transcript of the interview and posted it to Twitter, where it quickly went viral.

The interview starts off pleasantly enough. Gabi starts off by establishing the areas on Coco’s body where she likes being petted.

Me: Coco. Can I rub you on the head?
Coco: Absolutely!
Me: The back?
Coco: Sure.

But then, when Gabi moves on to other areas of Coco’s body, things get hairy.

Me: The tummy?
Coco: YOU-ARE-FORBIDDEN-TO-EVER-TOUCH-MY-TUMMY!!!
Me: The legs?
Coco: NO!!!
Me: The tail?
Coco: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Me: The butt?
Coco: IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?!?! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!!

You know, I gotta hand it to the kid. If cats could talk, this is pretty much exactly how they would sound.

According to Paul, the budding cat journalist was inspired to interview Coco when she saw one of those “Where do cats like to be petted?” charts on the Internet. And rather than rely on a one-size-fits-all petting rule, Gabi decided to get the straight dope from Coco herself.

Twittizens everywhere were taken with Gabi’s creativity and sense of humor.

As an added bonus, Paul shared both his reaction to the interview going viral…

As well as Gabi’s. Warning: your brain might explode from cuteness overload.

So until science figures out a way for cats to talk, Gabi’s interview is the closest we’ll get to knowing how cats feel about being petted. But actually, even if cats could speak, I bet most of them wouldn’t wanna waste their breath on dumb humans like us.

Pet responsibly, folks.

 

h/t: Mashable