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15 Animals That Look Exactly Like, Um, Male Genitalia

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To start today’s article, here are some quick facts about our planet. Earth has been around for over 4 billion years, and it’s hosted around five billion different species of animals, including humans. Almost every species that’s ever lived–99.9% of them, to be exact–have already gone extinct, but that still leaves 8.7 MILLION different species alive right now.

With such a variety of creatures living on the blue planet, you’d think Earth boasts incredible biodiversity. And it does…to an extent.

Because it turns out nature recycles the same designs over and over again. Instead of coming up with a brand new animal each time one evolves, sometimes nature just goes, “Eh, this one’s going to look like a human penis.”

OK, I’ll be honest…those animal facts above don’t really have anything to do with this article, but I figured you should get something educational out of this.

And now, on to the dick animals.

1. The Elusive Deep Sea Dildo

Photo Credit: IB Times UK

Real name: Peanut worm

2. The Party Starter

Photo Credit: Reddit

Real name: Granulated sea star

3. The Manaconda

Photo Credit: Matt Roper

Real name: Atretochoana eiselti. It’s also literally referred to as “the penis snake.” Poor fellow.

4. Wonder Worms

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Real name(s): the penis fish, or the fat innkeeper fish (when kids are around.)

5. Mr. Wrinkles

Photo Credit: Smithsonian Magazine

Real name: Naked mole rat

6. Cock-a-doodle-doo

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Real name: Rooster, obviously

7. Thanks for the tip.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Real name: Sea anemone

8. Damn, Clam

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Real name: Geoduck clam

9. The Very, VERY Hungry Caterpillar

Photo Credit: Latin Live

Real name: Priapulid

10. Oh Nose

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Real name: Proboscis monkey

11. Think Pink

Photo Credit: Sci News

Real name: Hoosier cavefish

12. The early bird wanted no part of these.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Real name: Acorn worm

13. Ouch

Photo Credit: Thailand Living

Real name: Nepenthes. Technically it’s a plant, but it’s a carnivorous plant!

14. Oh dear god

Photo Credit: The Young Turks

Real name: Sea lamprey

15. And finally, your worst nightmare.

via GIPHY

Credit: Youtube

Real name: Spoon worm

h/t: Buzzfeed

I can’t get these images out of my head…