One thing is for certain: there is no shortage of hilarious women on social media. Not by a long shot.
And here’s some more proof for you.
1. Very true
If you don't love cats, it's because a cat has never loved you.
— Maria Wojciechowski (@RiaWojo) June 5, 2019
I for one am on board with the straight parade. Who are we to tell 16 of the grossest dudes in MA they can’t go for a walk together?
— Katie Qué (@imyourkatieque) June 4, 2019
3. 69 dude!
Pavlov: the dogs salivate when I ring a bell
Me: weird. Why?
Pavlov: they connect two unrelated events due to repeated conditioning
Me: haha stupid animals
Pavlov: the experiment took 69 days
— Dr. Thot Yorke (@vaginadental) June 3, 2019
Did I have a friend who faked cancer for (count em) FOUR years?? YES!! But before I found out did we get matching tattoos because she had “2 months left to live” ALSO YES!!!!
— Theresa Bateman (@BadGalTuhRiri) June 4, 2019
My ancestors didn't die for my white boyfriend to make me accompany him to a Wilco concert.
— Tooky Kavanagh, your Problematic Fave™ (@TookyMonster) June 6, 2019
6. She nailed it
my niece had to do a paper on 3rd world countries and she wrote the whole thing herself and did a presentation and was so proud of herself. I asked her what country she picked and she said Canada.
— ashley ray (@arayyay) June 4, 2019
*unpopular opinion* but if you have to pee after something…that counts as sex
— Laura Merli (@passiveabrasive) June 2, 2019
8. Lots of Potter in there
“Proud to say I’ll be writing on the new season of [show]”: Ravenclaw
Grams from writers room but doesn’t say what for: Gryffindor
Doesn’t tell you till six months after the job ends: Hufflepuff
“Just landed my dream writing job can’t say what yet more to come”: Slytherin
— Nicole (@nicolemtherese) June 1, 2019
9. Not a terrible thing
I've never been a bridesmaid. Perhaps more frustrating is how everyone keeps asking me to be their divorcecrone
— think progresso, the soup that busts unions (@rajandelman) June 7, 2019
10. I’m home!
The nice thing about being a middle class liberal is that no matter what city you’re in, Trader Joe’s always feels like home
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 7, 2019
11. Times have changed
Baby boomers: Why don't you just call/drop in and see if they're hiring??
Job descriptions: do NOT call this office or so help me god I will cut your head off and dropkick it through your mother's front window you fucking animals
— grey goo 2020 (@duloxetinequeen) June 6, 2019
12. What is it, though?
roses can be red
we need to act on climate soon
instead we're debating https://t.co/JF31tKi6lM
— kiley (@kileyonline) June 7, 2019
13. It’s better!
my boyfriend has always been my best friend but now that my meds have removed all my sex drive we are a couple of eighth grade BFFs (prank calls, slumber parties, etc) – actually better!
— caroline doyle (@cd0yl3) June 6, 2019
14. That’s right
if sufjan stevens made an album a year until the projected end of civilization we would still not have our promised 50 states
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) June 5, 2019
15. Not cool
when my tv show won't play bc of weak wifi but the commercial still does? that's systemic oppression. when I finally get signal and the commercial starts over? fascism
— jes tom 👽✨ (@jestom) June 6, 2019