Someone told me that between pregnancy and childbirth, I would lose all modesty. I did not believe them, but two kids later, I can completely confirm this is true.
Which is to say that while these 15 things are totally gross by regular standards. the chances that the pregnant women who did them give two hoots is still extremely low.
“My nose was really dry towards the end of my pregnancy, so I was obsessed with picking it. I had the hugest boogers up there. I was super impressed.”—mimi99
#14. Sorry I didn’t think of this, honestly.
“The last few weeks of pregnancy I wore Depends to bed because it was just too hard to get out of bed and go down to the bathroom all night long.”
#13. That’s a lot to process.
“I had to do a 24-hour urine collection to test for pre-eclampsia, and peed way more than the collection container they gave me. So, I ended up using cleaned-out plastic fast food cups to hold the rest of the urine. I then had to drive to the lab and hand the poor lab assistant my piss-filled cups.” —mischieffy
#12. The things moms put up with.
“After a membrane sweep, I had my bloody show/mucus plug and took a photo of it to show to my mum because it was in the shape of a stork.” —vicc4f0fc3ce9
#11. I stopped caring, too.
“I was 42 weeks pregnant in August. One night I was so sweaty my husband woke me up to ask me if my water broke. I stopped caring how gross I could get.”
#10. Gotta do what you gotta do.
“I bought rubber medical gloves so I could manually disimpact myself because I was constipated. It was a regular occurrence.” —abrown316
#9. Isn’t the human body amazing?
“I marveled at the size of my poops. Pregnancy poops are legitimately huge.” —ericamilliew
#8. Okay TMI.
“I had major hemorrhoids, so my doctor gave me suppositories. I was instructed to manually (digitally, really) ‘stuff’ them (hemorrhoids included) back into my asshole.” —privatefaces
#7. I’m surprised you lasted that long.
“By month seven, I stopped shaving/waxing my lady parts — and my husband was too afraid to do it for fear of ‘cutting something off’ — so I embraced having pubic hair for the first time since middle school.”
#6. At least you could eat.
“I ate pickles and chocolate milk at the same time! Nightly craving through my first trimester.”
#5. Desperate times.
“I drank heartburn medicine directly from the bottle like a Pepto-wino. There was no point in using a spoon at the end as I was consuming so much of it.”
#4. Health code violation.
I was waitressing while pregnant, and there wasn’t a bin in that restaurant I didn’t throw up in.”
#3. Um. To each their own.
“When I got pregnant my boobs were huge and my boyfriend had a fetish of drinking my breastmilk, so of course I got curious and took a suck myself.”—euhegiap
#2. That’s one reason baby wipes are magic.
“By the end I couldn’t stand long enough to take a shower — or get in and out of the bath by myself — so I would go days using baby wipes to ‘bathe’ myself.”
#1. It’s just practice for being a mom.
“I ate food on the toilet. At night, every time I had to pee, I would grab a Twinkie and eat it in the bathroom.”
I’m just saying!