We’ve all heard the phrase “the customer is always right,” and we all know this phrase is complete b.s. Spoken as a customer myself, customers are universally impatient, demanding brats whose sole purpose is to make retail workers’ lives miserable. “The customer is always right” is a tool used by managers to train their employees to have an obsequious attitude so as not to lose a sale. It’s not a statement of fact.
Well today, we don’t have to pretend! Because here are 15 examples of customers that were so unreasonable, so wildly off base, that not even the most professional employee could accommodate their (dumb) needs. It’s time we all admitted what we know to be true: the customer is never right. And often, the customer is an actual monster.
1. It never hurts to ask.
Actually, sometimes it does hurt to ask. This is one of those times.
2. Apparently, not everyone knows “volume control” is a thing.
Whenever Rihanna would sing, “DJ won’t you turn the music up?”, this woman would always shout, “BUT HOW?!”
3. The bad tipper hall of fame.
We should bring back scarlet letters just for bad tippers.
4. That’s…not how baskets work.
If you’ve ever been unable to find a shopping basket at the grocery store, this specific woman is why.
5. In which we learn the definition of “additive discount.”
Just do it. Unless “it” forces you to miss math class.
6. I think we found the source of the water.
The customer also complained that drinking the antifreeze makes him really, really sick.
7. “Leave packages under mat.”
Even if said package is 1,000 times bigger than the mat.
8. Apparently, lots of Chipotle customers have no idea what a bay leaf is.
“Why don’t you make like a tree and get the hell outta here?” –Biff Tannen
9. The carb-lovers pizza.
I’m speculating, but marijuana miiiiiiiiight have been involved.
10. The mystery of the disappearing water.
Nice try. We all know water disappears when tiny fairies drink it.
11. WHO BROKE THESE LEGOS?!
They also returned a Mr. Potato Head because his face kept falling off.
12. The life-size model.
I’ll just keep my life-size Jupiter globe in my living room, which is 25 trillion sq. ft.
13. “A customer came into Autozone asking for ‘blinker fluid’ and said this was half-empty.”
Sure, it’s right next to the windshield wiper sharpeners.
14. It should be no surprise this happened at Whole Foods.
Lasers can’t touch your food? Well, someone’s not getting an invite to my upcoming all-you-can-eat-buffet/warehouse rave.
15. Like wine, milk just gets better with age.
(Drinks milk) “Mmmm, I detect a dominant flavor profile of spore-forming bacteria, with hints of listeria and botulism.”
h/t: Twenty Two Words