Being a grandparent is an opportunity to be awesome. You’ve lived a good chunk of time and collected many life lessons–and if you’ve lived an interesting life, many of these lessons won’t be “PG.” As your grandchildren start to figure out life, it’s your chance–your DUTY–to tell it like it is. Unlike when you were a parent, you don’t need to worry about setting an example. Go nuts!
If we’re all lucky enough to become grandparents one day, we should all be as funny as these grandmas.
1. Self-care is important.
Ladies. Never ever fake your orgasms.
You deserve so much more than that. Especially if you’re masturbating. #AdviceFromGrandma
— Orphaned Annie (@orphaned_annie) May 4, 2016
2. Grandmas always know how to make you feel better.
— Mrs. Dick Slippers (@Tiffanyk_07) March 4, 2017
3. On finding “The One.”
Marry the someone who gives you the same feeling you get when you see your food coming at a restaurant #GrandmaAdvice
— 3 Golden Sisters (@3goldensisters) February 16, 2016
4. Another solid strategy.
“Here’s what you need to ask yourself. Who would you want to own a dog with?” #advicefromgrandma
— caitlin (@cstuckey1D) May 13, 2016
5. Still, it’s not all sunshine and roses.
Men: Can’t live with ’em, can’t push ’em down a flight of stairs. #GrandmaAdvice
— not joan cusack (@ellaquencex) January 4, 2016
6. On the fleeting nature of happiness.
— Amanda Kohlhopper (@IBeBubs) June 29, 2012
7. A surefire plan for financial stability.
“You need to find yourself a very rich old man with a heart problem.” #AdviceFromGrandma
— Bre (@breekuxhaus) November 28, 2015
8. How to win any argument.
“When in a verbal altercation with someone, always be the prettier one and you win every time.” #mygrandmasadvice
— Holly Woodrum (@hollywoodrum) June 28, 2015
9. The importance of honesty.
Don’t start lieing to your dad. Save that when you come home with your shirt inside out. #GrandmaAdvice.
— aleeshia (@sinsleazy) July 1, 2012
10. Distracted driving is a no-no.
“When you drive don’t talk on the phone and don’t fax anybody” #grandmotheradvice
— Natasha Riveron (@tashariveron) June 12, 2012
11. On dealing with difficult people.
“The bigger the ass the bigger the shit” #AdviceFromGrandma
— That One Guy (@SmartAleecc) December 12, 2014
12. This one might come from personal experience.
Smile while you have teeth #AdviceFromGrandma
— Omar Essawi (@OmarEssawi) March 17, 2014
13. And finally, how to save money on mittens.
— Emperor Elena ? (@Elena_Barron) January 18, 2014