15 Reasons Why Slime Is The Bane Of Parents’ Existence

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Hear ye, people of virtue and propriety! A great evil menaces our nation’s children! There is a devil that walks (oozes) among us, and its name is slime. Specifically, homemade slime. This gooey, homemade abomination is the latest fad our kiddos can’t get enough of.

Like everything awful, slime is popular thanks to social media. “Slime influencers” like Karina Garcia have racked up millions of followers, and hundreds of thousands in monthly ad revenue, and I just died inside. Kids love slime partly because it’s customizable–there are countless how-to videos showing how to add all kinds of colors and glitter–but mainly because it’s messy.

How messy? Let these parents show you.

1. Did I mention it’s messy?

The saga continues… #ihateslime #whydoikeepbuyingglue

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2.  Say goodbye to your furniture.

3. And your carpets.

4. And even the freaking ceiling.


5. It will turn your kid into a Smurf.


6. Make that a bald Smurf.

7. A bald Smurf who needs a new wardrobe.

8. If you’re not careful, slime will take over your house.

9. It will devour your savings.

Target. Killing teachers everywhere. #ihateslime #fidgetspinnerstoo #targetteachers

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10. Slime even uses up gallons of contact solution, because life is a cruel joke.

11. Slime is spreading to our schools.

12. No family is safe.

Have a good weekend everyone. 😠#cantwait #worstparent #noslime #ellie

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13. You can’t escape it.

14.  This is our future.

Photo Credit: Drafthouse

15. We’re doomed.




h/t: Buzzfeed