I remember my cousin Lisa telling a mortifying story about her middle son one summer, and following it up with, “I swear, you never truly know what it means to be embarrassed until you have children.”
Apparently, it’s true. Just ask these 7 people, whose stories are so bad they might make you blush in sympathy.
7. The hero of the day!
“When I was 5 or 6, we were at my dad’s company picnic. I was introduced to his boss and I told him, ‘My daddy says you’re a son of a bitch.’ My dad’s coworkers fed me ice cream all afternoon.” – agreeswithfishpal
6. That’s what you get for teaching her that the truth is always the way to go
“My daughter’s daycare had circle time every morning as a way to start the day. Anyway we were late and walked into the middle of a circle time. My daughter said, ‘We’re late because my mommy had diarrhea.” – jaimmster
5. I feel like you secretly loved that
“I was waiting in A&E with my 3-year-old son after he swallowed a thumbtack. I needed to pee and had to take him with me into the small toilet beside the waiting room. I’m mid-stream and he shouts in his best voice, ‘Dad, your willy is SOOOOOOOO big.’ Everyone in the packed waiting room heard him and the rest of the wait was pretty awkward. I nearly died of embarrassment.” – IrnBruFiend
4. Ummm, sorry?
“Was riding on a public bus and my 5-year-old put her hand on a guy’s shoulder in the seat front of us and said, ‘This man is very fat.'” – error_flynne
3. They see everything
“In the toilets at a local supermarket. Mother Nature was paying her visit. My 4-year-old son came in the toilet with me… Went running out of the toilet to announce to his grandma, and the rest of the supermarket, that ‘My mummy has a piece of string hanging out of her bum!'” – cait_lol
2. Nudist in training…
“My daughter decided to strip completely naked, nappy and all, in the shop when I had my back turned for about five seconds. I only became aware when a lovely lady tapped me on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, ‘Excuse me, love, your child is dancing naked beside the potatoes.'” – WeeAngryPanda
1. Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it
“Once we invited a couple from church over to our house for the first time, to watch a Bears game. At the time, my son was 3 or 4, and would refer to the teams by their jersey color. Well, that day they were playing the Falcons, and the Bears were in white. A few minutes into the game, my son wanders up to me and quietly asks, ‘Which one is Bears?’ I told him it was the white team. To which he then shouts out ‘Yeah, we cheer for the white guys, because we don’t like the black guys, right, Dad?’ I had to awkwardly say “Yes, the Falcons are wearing black and today we do not like them because they’re against the Bears.’ Everyone laughed a bit but there were some side glances.” – tyzik