The average age when women are starting families is rising, but as someone who was 37 the first time she gave birth, I have to tell you…I am so tired, y’all. That said, I also have traveled and had a lot of fun and found a career I love, and also I already spend my evenings at home with the television, so there are some perks to being older before giving our life and time to someone else.
That said, there are some struggles. Some serious, serious struggles.
8. Quality of life is all about good painkillers
Everything hurts. Crawling around on the floor with your kids is torture. Me? My wrist has tendonitis so bad that putting my baby to bed is a literal nightmare. Welcome to middle age!
7. Your favorite songs are on the oldies station
You haven’t the slightest idea who anyone is that performs at the Grammys or on halftime shows, nevermind MTV.
6. You have wrinkles, and also still need acne cream
What do you get when you combine old age with hormones? A reason to never look in the mirror, that’s what.
5. Sometimes you don’t get carded
And it’s as heartbreaking as it is convenient.
4. Maxi pads: they’re not just for periods
They’re also for when you pee yourself picking up the kid or laughing too hard, because childbirth has destroyed your pelvic floor forever. (Tell me about kegels and I will cut you).
3. Kids are ruining our toys
Your kids are playing with the “same” toys you did, but now they’re all safe and boring and stuff.
2. Junk food is no longer a comfort
Can you say heartburn? Because I can.
1. Where do we shop?
We’re not ready for the likes of J. Jill, but places like H&M don’t feel like home either. Maybe this is why direct sale leggings have really taken off…
h/t: Cafe Mom