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Finally, A Bed Big Enough To Co-Sleep And Invite A Football Team For A Sleepover

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Guess what parents! If you can’t get enough of your kids during the day, love tossing and turning at night, and hate having sex with your partner, then there’s a mattress made just for you! Introducing The Ace Collection’s Ace Family Size and Ace Player, a line of supersized co sleeping mattresses made for the snuggliest of all enmeshed families!

Image via The Ace Company

Okay, okay, I get it, there are a lot of moms out there who love to co sleep with their baby. And let’s just get this out of the way, I know there are studies showing the positive effects of co sleeping (as long as it is done safely and I am not an expert in co sleeping so this is not an article for or against co sleeping), and I’m not in any way refuting these studies! But come on, let’s just take a look at this gargantuan mattress. Is it made for parents to co sleep with their newborn? No, it’s not, you don’t need that much room for a newborn, or newborn triplets for that matter! This mattress is an open invitation for your toddlers and preschoolers to jump into mom and dad’s bed whenever they want.

Image via The Ace Company

I don’t know about other moms out there, but I do know that I couldn’t sleep AT ALL both times we brought our newborns home. The grunting and wiggling kept me up all night long for weeks on end. By about five weeks old, both of our kids were sleeping in their own room (well let’s be honest, my youngest slept in the living room – the joys of a small apartment). Our kids have not slept in the same room as us since then, and they’ve never slept in our bed. They don’t even know that’s an option in life, because for us it isn’t! At the end of the day, we are exhausted, and when both kids are in bed by 7pm, now that our baby can sleep through the night, we are off the parenting clock for the most part! So barring any falling out of bed, peeing in the bed, or projectile vomiting, we are done! Our room after 7pm is for watching adult television (no, not porn you dirty dogs, we are not cool and edgy enough to watch porn) and basically doing and saying whatever the hell we want without worrying about what our 3 year old will repeat the next day in preschool.

For the parents out there who seriously can’t get enough of their kids, and love the idea of being kicked and breathed on all night, then in all seriousness, this mattress from The Ace Collection might be a good buy for you (if you have room for a twelve foot wide bed and a cool $2500-$4000 under your regular human-sized mattress). Go ahead and put it on your holiday wish list (just know that you will have to sell the rest of your bedroom furniture and knock down a wall or two to make room). I think it’s a bit cra cra, but hey, maybe I’m the crazy one! Who knows, maybe the family who sleeps together stays together!

Image via The Ace Company