If you struggled with the “egg” assignment in your high school Child Development class – you know the one, when you had to pretend an egg was a baby and care for it over the weekend – you’re going to be floored by how far things have come.
Because now they give kids robotic babies that, like real babies, scream bloody murder if they’re not rocked, fed, burped, changed, or you know, just because they’re fussy.
Meet William. He’s Olivia’s interactive baby assignment for her Early Childhood Education Class. Now, meet Olivia with…
Mom Lawren Galloway came face-to-face with one of these monstrosities when her daughter, Olivia, brought home a bouncing baby boy for her Early Childhood Education Class.
“Meet William. He’s Olivia’s interactive baby assignment for her Early Childhood Education Class. Now, meet Olivia with William. She’s had him since Friday night. She is absolutely exhausted and ready to quit the class and give William back. (Maybe even throw him back).”
The baby wailed so much that Olivia got the full Mom experience.
“Sunday night, William magically started crying as soon as I set the table for dinner – it was almost like he knew. Long story short, Olivia had to warm her plate up three times. His feedings were taking nearly 20 minutes, he required a burp, diaper change, and about 12 minutes of rocking.”
First off, I don’t know how regular babies seem to sense mealtime, and it freaks me out that a fake one does the same thing. Second, only three times?
Then, Olivia wanted a shower. Those things that moms dream about during the 40 minutes of sleep they manage to grab between feedings.
“She finished up rather quickly and explained that she decided to take a bath instead. She didn’t have time to wash her hair and was afraid he would start crying and need her.”
At least she understands mom buns now, though she’s thankfully (for her) escaping postpartum hair loss.
“It’s definitely been a learning experience. My favorite moment so far is when she came into my room last night around 3 am. She was crying real tears while feeding him his bottle. She was begging me to help her because she just wanted to get some sleep. Yeah, no.”
What makes this whole thing funnier is that Olivia is the oldest of four kids – and the youngest is just three weeks old. You would think that watching her Mom do the whole thing with an actual baby (and three other kids) would have made this smooth sailing for Olivia, but no.
“Having siblings in NO way prepared her for what it might be like to have her own child. This assignment should be mandatory for both boys and girls in high school.”
Even with everything she went through, Olivia didn’t manage to pass the assignment with flying colors. She didn’t provide the baby with proper head support, didn’t like rocking him, and only fed him 85% of the time.
Too bad 85% isn’t passing for parenthood.
“Luckily, she has the opportunity to take home another baby to bring up her grade.”
Maybe the second one will be easier. Hahahahahahahahahaha…or not.