Who would you say are the most innovative people in the world? Is it a theoretical physicist searching for answers about our universe? Or a programmer developing a world-changing computer processor? Or maybe it’s a filmmaker who finds new and interesting ways to tell the stories we’ve all heard countless times.
I say no to all of them. The most innovative people are in fact toddlers, and their chosen medium is “making messes with their bodily fluids.” And this story proves it.
Phoebe Bartlett, 21, of Bournemouth, England, Tweeted a photo of a discovery her mother made in her three-year-old brother Freddy’s bedroom drawer. It needs no further introduction:
mum has just found a draw full off piss that my 3 year old brother has been pissing in and he blamed the dog HAHA!!! pic.twitter.com/9F0VSDywoa
— phoebe bartlett (@phoebebartlett_) October 24, 2017
Bartlett told Scary Mommy some backstory: “What happened was, Mum could smell wee in her room for about a week but couldn’t find a patch from the dog, so she asked my brother if the wee was in his room and he said yes, and then he opened the drawer and she screamed.”
Like you, I have a LOT of reactions to and questions about this photo:
-We don’t know exactly why young Freddie used this end table as a urinal, but my guess is: convenience. Why walk all the way down hall to use the bathroom when there’s a perfectly good drawer right by your bed? The only flaw in Freddie’s plan was thinking the pee would go away. That’s the most “kid logic” thing ever.
-I wonder if Freddie peed in the drawer once, not expecting this outcome, and then discovered to his horror that drawers don’t work like toilets do. And then, he realized he was in too deep, so he might as well continue peeing into it.
-He definitely blame the dog, but it’s not clear if he blamed the dog for the pee smell in general, or for literally opening the drawer and peeing into it, despite having no opposable thumbs. My hope is the latter.
-How did the drawer retain all that pee for an entire week?! That thing is more watertight than some ships!
-What is that thing in the drawer submerged in the pee? It looks to me like a Capri Sun pouch. That’s been steeped in pee.
-As someone who’s looked at approximately 5 and a half billion family photos for our parent website, this one is really really good. The drawer, the pee, the kid, everything’s framed perfectly. Good photography job by Phoebe.
-The Batman outfit. So perfect.
People on Twitter had lots of reactions as well. Some felt for Freddie, who seems really upset about the whole thing.
By the looks of it, he has done that for a while. He is gutted..lol (also love how he is in a batman suit)
— RhianEmmaMainwaring (@rheebs1986) October 24, 2017
Others tried to reconstruct the moment Freddie decided to pee in the drawer.
That’s objectively a large quantity of piss. It’s panicking, making a mistake and then just fully committing to it. I’m truly impressed.
— Sammy Paul (@ICOEPR) October 25, 2017
Some had some advice for handling hazardous materials.
I asked my friend (who is a mother) how she’d clean this and she said “Throw it out. The dresser and the kid.”
— Dara Fontein (@deefontein) October 25, 2017
And a few had some advice for the family dog.
Meanwhile the dog is laughing is head off pissing in other drawers pic.twitter.com/RVWfvEhQUd
— Project LJPumpkin ? (@TheLordJalapeno) October 25, 2017
I think most of us can relate to this story. I definitely can. I once peed in my Dad’s VCR, and he STILL brings it up almost a year later!
h/t: Scary Mommy