Unlike 1980s movies, which have started to age poorly in light of recent feminist movements like #metoo (looking at you, Sixteen Candles), 90s movies tend to hold up well, aside from the pretty heinous popular fashions of the time. For some reason, the fact that these movies are still essentially perfect isn’t stopping Hollywood from thinking they could use a remake.
So, without further ado, here are 15 remakes in the works that honestly, we didn’t ask for and we don’t want.
#15. The Matrix
Okay, it’s not getting a remake (thank goodness) but they are considering making a 4th. I say if you make a trilogy everyone loves, walk away and never look back.
#14. Indecent Proposal
When the original features Demi Moore, Robert Redford, and Woody Harrelson, so there’s nowhere to go but down.
#13. The Mighty Ducks
This icon of the ’90s is getting a television reboot. Fine, but there’s no way anyone is taking Joshua Jackson’s place in my heart.
Horror movies are usually ripe for reboots, but I don’t know about this one, y’all. How do you top Jennifer Aniston?
#11. Big Trouble in Little China
Sequel alert! If the original cast comes back, maybe I’ll let it slide.
First off, can I just say there’s no way it’s been 23 years. And second…how are you going to top the original cast? You’re not. Leave it alone.
#9. Home Alone
This will no longer be a kids’ movie once Ryan Reynolds gets his hands on it – and retitles it Stoned Alone.
#8. Little Women
With Emma Watson and Meryl Streep signed on, this could be the exception to the rule – we’ll all get to find out on Christmas, 2019.
#7. The Craft
Not a reboot but a sequel – the jury is out until we see whether the original cast is coming back.
Remaking a Frank Marshall horror film is like re-painting a Warhol.
#5. Hocus Pocus
This is one ’90s movie that (I’m sorry) doesn’t hold up at all. I have no idea why it’s such an iconic film for so many, and we certainly don’t need another (especially not a made for TV).
#4. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
No one will ever be Jim Carrey, so why even bother?
#3. Men in Black
Some might be swayed by the appearance of Chris Hemsworth, but not I. I’ll keep Will Smith, thank you very much.
#2. I Know What You Did Last Summer
Okay, so I know this wasn’t the greatest cast of actors ever, so maybe a remake could work?
#1. Jacob’s Ladder
This needs to go away, and fast. Sadly, it’s got a tentative release date next year.
Go make another Spiderman and leave our classics alone, Hollywood.