Just think about what life would be like without the dreamers. Nobody would have a car. The Empire State building wouldn’t exist. We wouldn’t have gone to the moon. And we’d still be stuck with scarves that only cover our necks.
But thanks to the dreamers at Dukyana, an online clothing store based in Bulgaria, we can all wear scarves that don’t just cover our necks, but our entire bodies.
Officially named the “Chunky Mohair Tube Scarf,” the garment currently retails for a cool $280, which is the same price as 28 bags of animal fertilizer. But unfortunately for all of you, the CMTS is currently unavailable, doubtless because it sold out immediately.
“But wait!” you scoff. “If a scarf goes all the way down to your ankles, is it still considered a scarf? Wouldn’t it be some kind of sweater/dress hybrid?” Yes, it would! But did that stop Dukyana? Never! Should it have? You be the judge.
“But wait, I have another objection!” you continue. “How can you even…do anything in that outfit? You can’t even move your arms!” On the contrary! There’s no limit to the activities you can do in a CMTS, if you use a little imagination. Activities like:
-Standing, knees locked
-Standing, knees unlocked
-Being rolled down a hill
-Screaming for help you know will never arrive
That’s a full day of activities, if you start early enough.
This is far from the first time Dukyana has played the giant knitted garment game. The company also has a line of oversized sweaters named “Huge Sweaters.” Now you can make yourself look like you just got back from Andre the Giant’s estate sale.
Dukyana even has a line of Huge Sweaters for the summer, like this one, which helps you look like the Oscar the Grouch’s sister who put herself through school by stripping.
We’ll be sure to update you when Dukyana inevitably debuts a single mitten that comfortably fits a family of five.