Kids’ minds don’t work like ours – they don’t know about thinking inside any boxes, their imaginations haven’t been trampled by years of life, and they aren’t aware that filters are a thing yet. All of this combines to result in some hilarious little moments, but as any parent can tell you, kids also have the innate ability to freak out the adults in their lives with the creepy thoughts in their heads (and that come out of their mouths).
The 15 comments below surely had their parents ready to lock their young ones in at night – or at least move the knives to a higher drawer.
#15. She’s a braver gal than I.
“One of my preschool students decided to tell us about the ‘man’ who watches over her from her doorway while she sleeps. She told us that he gets ‘very close’ to her face, and when she tells him to leave her alone, he disappears. So spooky.” –juliannat411366c73
#14. Okay, that’s freaky.
“My little cousin came home and started staring at all the Christmas decorations. He said, ‘Hmmm. It will take 11 days.’ Eleven days later, we went out for dinner and an intruder took most of our decorations.” –rishibhak
#13. I would have died right then. No need to wait.
“I was watching TV and my 5-year-old sister cuddled up to me and started to make circles with her finger around my lips. She said, ‘A man is going to shoot you. You’re gonna die, you know. Soon…'” -Paola Landeros
#12. Possessed much?
“I walked into the bathroom to get my 4-year-old out of the bath, and she quietly said, ‘Mom, all my toys are dead. I held them under the water, and now they’re dead.’ She then whispered over and over again, ‘Dead in the water, dead in the water, dead in the water.’” –krystalf48ee311e7
#11. So much for sleep.
“I was changing my daughter’s diaper in the middle of the night when my 2-year-old came in and stood next to me. She looked at me with a big smile and, in a sing-song voice, said, ‘Mommy, there’s somebody behind you!’ The scary thing was that we were home alone. –amandat4eebbd930
#10. I could chop your head off with these.
“When my sister was four, she walked by my bed and saw scissors. She stopped, looked back at them, and then said, ‘You know, I could chop your head off with these. Goodnight.'” – sleepyemaly
#9. Maybe she meant it in a sweet way?
“My 4-year-old daughter randomly said to me, ‘I want to know what the inside of your head looks like.'” –nancyd483de0e83
“My friend’s 4-year-old had an imaginary friend: Jenna. One time we were in the car and stopped at a red light next to a cemetery. She looked up and said, ‘Bye, Jenna.’ Her mom asked where Jenna was going. She then pointed to the cemetery and said, ‘Home. She lives there.'” –tomb4adc7727a
#7. There’s a clown in there.
“When my son was three, we were driving at night and passed a big, empty house with no lights on. He pointed to the house, started waving his tiny hand, and said, ‘There’s a clown in there.’ I’ve refused to take that road ever since.” –rrptrdl
#6. Kids just can’t keep their mouths shut when it comes to family murder secrets.
“I was in a grocery store and walked by a mother with her 5-year-old. The little boy smiled and waved, so I smiled and waved back. Then he said, ‘You should eat your friends for dinner. That’s what we do.'” –c4a68e1c4d
#5. There’s something kind of sad about this one.
“When our second daughter was born, our 3-year-old whispered in her ear, ‘Tell me what God looks like. I forget.’ It freaked my husband and me out!” –dawnae
#4. No, thank you.
“I was a camp counsellor, and while running a program called ‘paint the counsellors,’ a 4-year-old leaned in behind me, started painting my hair, and whispered in my ear, ‘I’m gonna peel off all your skin.'” –clairek49d80d9d5
#3. I’m sure he’s just looking out for you…
“My cousin’s front door randomly opened by itself, and her 3-year-old son said, ‘Hi, Uncle Pat.’ Pat was my cousin’s brother who died 10 years earlier, but her son had never even been told about him.” –shannono420b9214d
#2. How can they be so calm??
“I was changing my daughter’s shirt, and I got a feeling that there was another person around, but we were home alone. My daughter looked behind me and said, ‘She’s hanging from the roof, mommy. Don’t look.’ Never have I moved so fast in my life.” –alliic
#1. At least she’ll be the one paying for it.
“My daughter and I went for a walk through a cemetery while we waited for my son to finish his piano lessons next door. She stopped dead in the middle of the graveyard, pointed at a grave, spaced out, and said, ‘This is where you’re going to sleep. Forever.'” –jamiem43737f6fc
Here’s hoping it’s just imaginations running wild!