One of the ironclad Laws of the Internet is, if you ask sincerely for advice, for any problem, Internet strangers will offer wiseass suggestions. And nobody knows that law better than Tseng Shao-Tsen, a mother from Taiwan who asked a Taiwanese Facebook group for help opening her “un-openable” cabinet.
Yeah, that one’s a doozy. An earthquake had struck the area near Ms. Tseng’s home of Hsinchu, Taiwan, shifting the plates into this precarious position.
Let’s see the helpful “advice” the Internet had for Ms. Tseng.
1. This person is clearly a sociopath.
“Open a bottle of wine > Have a drink > Wait for a husband to come home. Start a random argument out of nothing > Go to the kitchen . open the door and let it smash > blame it on the husband – he’ll apologize and buy a whole new set of plates.”
2. This person isn’t afraid to face tough decisions.
“It is a matter of economics, if the plates are cheap open the door. If the plates are irreplaceable smash the glass on the right.”
3. This person has a weak grasp of the laws of physics.
“Flood the house, then open the cupboard without any risk!”
4. This person spends a bit too much time on the computer.
“Build an identical house next to your existing house with only one difference, the plates would be on the shelf. Then delete the old house.”
5. This person is literally a comic book character.
“Go to Kamar-Taj, see The Ancient One, be a sorcerer, find The Eye of Agamotto, reverse or stop time, arrange back, and you’re done!”
6. This person works in IT.
“Try switching it off then switching it back on again.”
7. This person has no idea how cupboards work.
“Tilt the cupboard backwards, then open.”
8. This person plays a lot of Call of Duty.
“Just let yourself die and respawn back to your last check point when the plates were nicely stacked.”
9. This person is an entrepreneur.
“Sell it to the museum and name it the ‘Frozen in Time’ series.”
10. This person knows how to party.
“Gather your friends…make it a party! open the door and as the bowls crash to the floor.. yell OPA! and then you all have a drink together to toast the occasion.”