Yoga people can perform amazing feats of athleticism and flexibility. But if you ask me, the most remarkable accomplishment that yoga experts achieve is managing to get through their routines without letting one rip. Seriously, with all the bending, and all the pressure you’re putting on your body, every yoga class should resemble the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles.
But sometimes, that’s exactly what a yoga class looks like, and smells like. Enter Laura Mazza, the blogger behind the excellent and very funny Mum on the Run.
She was unfortunate enough to let out a series of air biscuits during her first ever yoga class after a difficult pregnancy. Her story has everything an epic tale needs–mainly, self-consciousness, public humiliation, and descriptions of farts.
Fair warning: this story contains bathroom humor (duh) as well as strong language, so if neither of those are your jam, turn back now!
Otherwise, let’s begin.
Mazza’s saga starts with some backstory. More backstory than any fart has ever gotten in the history of Western Literature.
Our heroine donned her yoga attire, which left a lot to be desired.
The class begins, and things don’t start off well.
There’s a reason Hobbits don’t do yoga…
But you can’t hide from a yoga guru.
And to be fair, the way Laura reacted is exactly how I would have reacted.
Surprisingly, things start looking up!
I’m craving McGriddles, for some reason.
And then, it happens.
When your OWN FARTS make you gag, you know they’re pungent…
But hey, maybe it’s not that bad!
Actually, it’s so much worse.
Abort. Abort! ABORT!
At least the story has a somewhat happy ending…
Brutal. Just brutal.
The fact Laura Mazza isn’t currently living life as a hermit on a remote desert island means she’s stronger than I will ever be.
h/t: Bored Panda