Marriage is many things, many of them opposite – exciting, dull, hard, easy, loving, challenging – and most of us have no idea what we’re doing going in. It’s always helpful to hear advice from someone who has been there and survived, especially when it’s been a decade or more, so this woman’s thoughts looking back on ten years are something worth reading.
So go on!
#8. Laugh as often as you can.
Especially when you don’t feel like it.
“Laugh as much as you can, as often as you can, and if you can hone the talent that is laughing in the face of challenges so that you may rise to face them, bravo.”
#7. Keep talking.
About anything and everything – whether the chatter is mindless, productive, loving, or a combination of all three, it keeps us together.
“Your words, all of them, will accumulate and pile on top of one another and serve as the foundation on which your partnership is built.”
#6. Ease up on screen time.
All of it, from television to phones to laptops – it isolates us from each other and teaches that habit to our kids, too.
“If you don’t tend to your other more fleeting desires – like spending time together – they may slowly stop presenting themselves.”
There’s a time for talking and a time to shut your trap. The wisdom to know the difference is a hard but necessary acquisition.
“There is time for talk, and there is time for quiet. There is a time where you must only listen and digest.”
#4. Don’t give up.
Be like Dory and just keep swimming, even when you’re not sure where you’re going or even if you still want to get there.
“Especially if you have children, you will inevitably feel, at some point, like you are drowning in responsibility and under the weight of a crap ton of pressure, but just keep moving forward.”
What’s yours is theirs – food, chargers, clothes, desires, dreams, fears, etc.
“Do you know what else you must share? Your time. Yep, that minimal time that is slotted for “you,” if/when your spouse wants in on it as well, let them.”
It will do you both good to remember the good times – how you met, the way you fell in love (and why), your wedding day, or the afternoon you found out you would be parents together for the first time.
“Some think that the past should stay there, but me, I believe that to recognize and honor just how far you have come with another human being by your side, you must give deserved power to those experiences and memories.”
#1. Make time for yourself.
It might sound counterintuitive, but you can’t pour yourself out for everyone else if you’ve got nothing to give.
“Make sure your cup is full and remember that you are the only one that knows exactly what you want in your cup and how you want it.”
May we all have such perspective and so much love still in our lives after a decade with the same person.