When buying a gift for someone you love, it’s natural to get a little anxiety. Unlike a Secret Santa gift or the obligatory wedding present, you actually care about how the recipient will feel about it. You want the gift to be special and memorable, something your partner will love and use regularly, and on top of that you want it to be a surprise. That’s a lot of pressure for just one gift!
But you know what? Maybe us anxious gift-givers have been worrying too much. Because when Buzzfeed recently asked their readers to share the worst gifts their significant others ever got them, they replied with a truly awful collection of duds. When you read through these stinkers, you’ll realize there’s no way you can disappoint your loved one as much as these folks did.
1. The traditional two-year anniversary scent is “Black Ice.”
“For our two-year anniversary my ex-boyfriend gave me a $4 car air freshener.” – danieller453330bb4
2. Hey, you never know when you might drop your phone in the toilet.
“My boyfriend in 10th grade gave me a 10-pound bag of rice for Valentine’s Day. He gave it to me early in the day and was like, ‘I was kind of tired of carrying it around.’ I donated it to the local food bank and we broke up soon after.” amyg4947497eb
3. The ol’ cash register special.
“One Christmas, the guy I had been dating for about 2.5 years got me a pair of Christmas crew socks (the kind they sell near the cash register at Duane Reade).” – carramariep
4. Happy birthday, Sasquatch!
“My now-ex-husband gave me a set of ‘open everything’ scissors and a personal hair remover. For Christmas.” – jenniferhillm
5. We’ll be together forever…just like these mints.
“After confessing to me that he’d been talking to another girl, my ex gave me a bag of peppermints that had been in his truck all day and were melted together.” – merc95
6. Maybe he’s just really into recycling. Ever think of that?
“My high school boyfriend gave me his dead dog’s old stuffed animal for my 15th birthday. And he INSISTED that he bought it at Target, even though it had chew marks on it and its left eye was missing. We broke up shortly after.” – emmy1418
7. Definitely not symbolic of their relationship. Nope, nosiree.
“For Valentine’s Day, I had a boyfriend give me a dying rose and a bottle of cheap lube so I could give him a hand job.” tesslc
8. There’s a reason Kirby always wears shoes.
9. Give the gift of cleaning products at your own peril.
“My boyfriend gave me a feather duster for Christmas one year… That shit went straight in the bin and so did he.” – emmalouisew42c5f44ab
10. He was only into her because of Squeaker.
“For Valentine’s Day, he gave me treats for my guinea pig. Nothing for me.” – morgana43c627aa4
11. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” — Michael Scott
“My boyfriend got me a leather gimp mask/hood that literally covered the entirety of the face. I had never expressed an interest in trying something like that. I opened it before shooting out for work at 7 a.m. I was so confused!” – robertw4274b91d7
12. It’s the thoughtlessness that counts.
“A lighter…for Christmas. I don’t smoke.” – m4d33df77f
13. Where did you two meet? Chuck E. Cheese?
“A macaroni necklace that he made. He had asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said ‘anything but a macaroni necklace is good for me.’” – mayas43b3ffc62
14. Hey, at least they’re still together!
“For Christmas one year, my oh-so-loving husband gifted me a package of animal butt magnets. Eight magnets, just the backside?” – mayas43b3ffc62
15. And he still sleeps on the couch to this day.
“Two months after having a C-section, my ex got me a toner belt. You know, the ones that wrap around your stomach and make your muscles contract. He excitedly handed it over CHRISTMAS DAY and couldn’t understand why I was crying.” – ninjacat57
h/t: Bloomjoy Collective