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Reusable Toilet Paper Will NOT Be Used In My House

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I recently read an article about reusable toilet paper, aka family cloth. Instead of a nice roll of toilet paper on its holder, you have folded up cloths (wash cloths maybe?) that you use over and over. And over again. I have some thoughts. But before I share them, excuse me for one moment while I puke my guts out at the mere idea of it. Just. Plain. Gross. Picture this: you need to use the restroom, so you head to your clean, fresh smelling bathroom.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The kids are at school and you are smiling at the idea of going uninterrupted. You sit down and take a deep cleansing breath in. Oh. My. Gross. The smell is reminiscent of a men’s room at an interstate truck stop in the middle of nowhere that’s been long forgotten by the cleaning crew.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Except, it’s actually worse than a public restroom because there’s a trash can full of cloths soaked in urine and feces RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. In Your Home!¬†There are not enough matches in the world to mask that smell. And trust me, this smell is not staying in the bathroom, this beast is roaming throughout your home, in the kitchen while you eat, in the bedroom while you sleep. No one is safe! Everybody is constantly breathing it in, the kids, the pets, YOUR GUESTS! How can this be healthy? I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure (like 100%) that pee and poop contain harmful bacteria. And what about that time of the month for us ladies? Yes, let’s just go there and add blood into this disgusting mix.

I have a very curious 11-month old, and I guarantee the second I turn my head away from him, he’ll be elbows deep in this can of horror. I’m not sure I would ever be able to get him clean again. Like, really clean where I wouldn’t picture bodily fluids on him every time I hold him. Not to mention, since I do the laundry in my household, I would be the one who gets to collect these shit rags and throw them into our washer. And everyone who has had a baby knows that poop stains are forever.

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So the next time you take a cloth to wipe yourself, you’ll get the remnants of deuces past that you get to put on your privatest of private areas. So good luck with that. Just know that if you ever come over to visit, there will always be a square (of brand spanking new toilet paper) to spare.

h/t: Scary Mommy