As a mom of two small boys, Emily Duty is used to hearing about body parts. Specifically, male body parts like penises and their surrounding real estate, though farts and butt cracks also earn a fair amount of chatter. It’s totally normal, and like she told ScaryMommy, most days it rolls off her back and she was able to ignore it.
On one particular day, however, she had enough.
“I told everyone that I didn’t want to hear about anyone’s body parts for the rest of the damn day (or ever) unless they actually had to use the bathroom, or it was about to fall off, so help me!”
She didn’t specify, but I can only assume this rule also included her husband.
Well, the boys listened (miracle of miracles) and she didn’t think much about it until later in the evening when her older son came to her and her husband asking for a snack. There was a catch, though: even though he said he knew what he wanted and it wouldn’t spoil his diner, he was afraid to ask them whether or not he could have it.
They finally coaxed him to reveal the mystery snack, but only after they promised that he wouldn’t get yelled at for saying the words aloud.
“It’s the pear with…you know…the butt-crack. And I didn’t want to get in trouble for saying it had a butt-crack. But come look! It really does have one! I’m not playing!”
The first thing that happened was that their four-year-old dissolved into laughter over the idea of fruit with a butt-crack. The second thing was the entire family hurrying into the kitchen to see the phenomenon for themselves.
And yep. There it was.
“The pear really did have a butt-crack. Because of course it did.”
Emily handed over the snack and clarified, for future, that her sons could add “if it’s on a pear” to the list of times it would be okay to speak of body parts in the house.
Because of course she did.