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These 15 Parents Know What Their Kids Are up To, but They’re Keeping Quiet About It…For Now

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As parents, we know we have to pick our battles. When it comes to parenting teens, that’s especially true…and also it never hurts to have an ace in the hole.

Which may be why these 15 parents are choosing to remain silent about what they’ve caught their kids doing. At least for now.

#15. This is funny and confusing all at the same time.

“We have one of those fridge cameras, and I was checking the cam one day and there was my son, closing his ding-dong in the fridge repeatedly.”

#14. Maybe it’s just to impress his friends?

“That my teenage son has an empty box of condoms under his bed. Yes, we’ve had ‘the talk,’ but EMPTY?!!”

#13. Focus.

“My 13-year-old daughter doesn’t know that I know she writes shitty manga-type sex stories. I don’t even really care about the sex stuff, but the writing itself is SO bad. The grammar, sentence structure, and spelling is a hot mess.”

#12. Just don’t tell her it makes you happy.

“My 14-year-old stepdaughter borrows my clothes — hiding them in her book bag and changing in the school bathroom — and returns them to my closet when she’s done wearing them. She goes to great lengths to deny liking my style, but I’m honored that she does, even if it’s in secret.”

#11. He would probably die but as the mother of sons, can confirm that’s actually adorable.

“My very prude and private 13-year-old son doesn’t know that I know he sleeps in the nude. I caught his little bum-bum sticking out one morning when I went to wake him up.”

#10. It’s somehow innocent.

“My 14-year-old son doesn’t know that I know he searched for ‘movies with most boobs’ last week.”

#9. Here’s hoping she doesn’t also use it for her teeth.

“My teenage daughter has an electric toothbrush in her underwear drawer that I’m pretty sure she masturbates with.”

#8. They think we were born yesterday.

“My 3-year-old son wipes his boogers on the walls. He denies it’s him. I’ve seen him do it.”

#7. This mental image. OMG.

“My 16-year-old doesn’t know that we can easily hear him singing songs and talking to the TV in his room. The other day, he sang the National Anthem as loud as he could, and we stood up in the family room with our hands over our hearts until he was done.”

#6. And this one is disturbing.

“My parents once caught my brother googling ‘naked Minecraft girls.’ Kids are wild.”

#5. Everyone needs an Uber fairy.

“I know that my 13-year-old daughter takes an Uber to school when it’s raining or she’s running late. She doesn’t realize her Uber account is connected to my credit card — she must think the ‘Uber fairy’ pays for it.”

#4. A hoarder in training.

“My daughter used to ‘eat a cookie’ and ask for another. But I’d find hundreds of cookies squirreled around various drawers, inside toys, and under her bed. She must have died during the Great Depression in a past-life of something.”

#3. My heart.

“When my 9-year-old daughter is in the shower forever, I know it’s because she’s trying to hide the fact that she’s crying because she misses her dad. It’s been three months since he died, and she’s still getting used to the fact that he’s gone.”

#2. She thinks she’s so clever.

“I set alarms for the morning on the Amazon Echo, and when I leave the room, I hear my daughter cancel them and snicker, ‘No school tomorrow, haha!’ She’s five.” 

#1. Hard to get mad about reading.

“My 9-year-old pretends to go to sleep right away, but as soon as I shut the door, I hear her turn on her bedside lamp on and pull out her stashed book and read. I can’t even be mad. So every night before I go to bed, I go put away her book and turn off her light. She has to know it’s me doing that, but she’s never said a word.”

Or, it could be the massive embarrassment if a conversation were to be held. Either way.