What is a dad if he doesn’t have jokes? Nothing, I tell you! NOTHING!
I mean, it’s a question for the ages, but don’t ponder it for too long – the answer is, he’s not a dad at all. As I said.
Which is why these 10 dads, no matter how tired, just have to keep us laughing.
Come on dads… don’t let us down!
10. That’s not a good moment.
It is a funny one, though.
son: I have to tell you two things about my pet lizard
me: you have a pet lizard?
son: right, and the second thing is that it's missing from my room
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 8, 2020
9. Every single time.
We don’t stop saying nice things, though.
Me: Can I tell you something?
Me: *whisper in ear* You are a blessing….I love you
6yo: *smiling* Can I tell you something?
Me: Of course!
6yo: *whisper in ear* Bring me the iPad
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) October 12, 2020
8. Your toddler doesn’t care.
That’s a protip.
What I say: "don’t do that it’s dangerous"
What my toddler hears: "prove to me you’re not a coward"
— The Dad (@thedad) October 2, 2020
7. I mean. Why?
If it keeps them busy it’s a go in my house.
argued with my 5 yo the other day because he wanted to vacuum our concrete front porch. never imagined this would be an argument i'd ever have.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 12, 2020
6. Of course it had to be a cop.
This is horrible and hilarious.
My toddler is always saying that he loves living in our apartment because it’s “high in the sky” which is adorable. Telling a police officer that he’s “going to get high at home with daddy” less so.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 4, 2020
5. Except for the tattling.
If that’s not happening, leave them alone. Unless they’re quiet.
A few years into being a parent you discover there is virtually zero difference between the sound of siblings happily playing together and the sound of siblings viciously trying to murder each other.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 20, 2020
4. No omg make it stop.
3yo: Daddy, I have something for you
Me: Really? Thank you!
3: *hands me something small, brown and hard*
Me: Um… where did you get this?
3: From my bum bum
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 12, 2020
3. Kids should really come with remotes.
Wouldn’t that be handy?
Ok so I’m jealous that teachers have the power to mute my kids
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 7, 2020
2. They do this more than you ever would have believed.
I have no idea what’s wrong with them.
6: Nothing. Just testing if you can still hear me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 3, 2020
1. Same with movie tickets.
It’s a different sort of lesson.
I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 10, 2020
Man, kids are a trip, aren’t they? It’s like they don’t know what they’re doing and we have to teach them, but they don’t want to listen… and they think they know everything?
Naww… that can’t be it.
Okay, that’s all from us for now. And so… we want to hear from you!
Tell us your favorite dad joke in the comments! Do it quickly or we might not make it.
Please and thank you!