Y’all, we need to talk about what some of you are naming your kids. I get the need to be unique – I had a rule that we couldn’t even consider a name that was in the current top 50 most popular in the U.S. – but I also love my children, and my main concern was to give them a name they can live with for at least the next 18 years.

Some of you…do not seem to have that concern, as more and more, names that have been completely made up are popping up in music classes and library storytimes.

These 10 names, though, they really take the cake!

10. That is…not at all professional and easy to explain.

I work at a college and often go through the new applications to process them, I’ve seen all kinds.

Most ridiculous name I’ve seen thus far though:

Starscream Anakin as his first and middle names. He has a normal last name. When I first saw it, I was certain that it was a kid f*cking with our application system. Then I met him in person, and he showed me his ID.

His name is legally Starscream Anakin. I get the Anakin part, but of all the Transformers to name your kid after, why on Earth make it Starscream? He was just awful.

9. I love Dirty Dancing as much as the next person, but…

Baby girl

Yes this was their legal name.

8. It’s funny…but why is that criteria for naming your baby?

When I was pregnant my now exMIL wanted me to name our son “Rock” which is stupid as it is but the last name is Bowler so my son’s name would be Rock Bowler and I couldn’t do that to the poor kid.

My ex thought it would be funny to name him Rocky with the middle name Bal so his name would be Rocky Bal Bowler…

7. I mean, I’d be pretty tired by then, too.

My neighbor was the 12th kid.

His parents named him Twelver.

That’s gotta be the worst I’ve ever seen.

6. I don’t understand any of this.

I went to high school with a guy named Zip Daub.

His middle name was Adydo.

They named that motherf*cker Zip Adydo Daub.

5. What you’re saying this is a thing more than one person has done?

My niece is named Nevaeh and you are ABSOLUTELY right that her parents tell everyone that it is “Heaven” spelled backwards. It is like that have the compulsion to justify naming their child Nevaeh.

On a side note, no one calls her Nevaeh. We call her Squish. Not sure which is worse.

4. The older kid definitely got the better end of that deal.

Had a little boy in my program named Rowdy. Eh… kind of rednecky but, whatever.

Then I found out his older brother is named Howdy! WTF?

Found out later that the older boys legal name is Howard. That’s less ridiculous, at least.

3. That’s what they’re going to feel when they’re getting their asses kicked on the playground for the 5th time that week.

An ex had friends who named their kids Haight and Rayge (hate and rage).

Good luck kids.

2. I mean that’s just lazy.

I went to high school with a guy named John John John.

Yes, his first name, middle name and last name were all “John”.

1. A self-fulfilling prophecy?

I once encountered a plump young woman whose name, according to her ID, was Rotunda.

Seriously, some people are just going way too far in the name of being unique, don’t you think?

How did you choose your kids’ names? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!