Being a parent means being perpetually tired, at least for the first several years of their lives.
After that, you still have to deal with lack of sleep but it is more sporadic, as I understand.
11. That sounds about right.
Why is it always only one shoe?
What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.
What the child hears: Get undressed. Start finger painting. Lose at least one shoe.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 10, 2020
10. You just have to redefine what’s “fun.”
And then lower your expectations a little more.
Let’s get married & have kids so instead of trying a pumpkin beer you can stop the crying while I go back into the corn maze to find the shoe.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 6, 2020
9. You’ve always got to have a t-rex.
Otherwise are you even 4?
Me: What did you do at preschool?
4-year-old: Played cops and robbers.
Me: What were you?
4: A t-rex.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 7, 2020
8. We’re all doing our best.
Probably shouldn’t use knives in school, though.
Tried teaching my kids some Roman history… I'm not allowed to do the homeschooling anymore pic.twitter.com/ydnkaA95oJ
— The Dad (@thedad) August 31, 2020
7. Start saving now, kid.
Or do some serious studying.
Me: Everything the light touches will be yours one day
Son: You’re using a laser pointer
Son: And it’s pointing at a jar of pennies
— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) October 13, 2020
6. “My belly’s hungry.”
And a million other excuses.
Hypnotist: [crying in a corner] why aren’t you getting sleepy!?
3 year old: I’m thirsty
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) October 12, 2020
5. The young padawan is learning.
She’ll be a master soon.
My 5yo not wanting to brush her hair because her “hair is tired” is on another level of excuse that I think we can all learn from.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 3, 2020
4. Hard to argue with that.
You can always try. If you want to lose.
I told my kid to put his toys in the toy box and he told me the entire house is a toy box. He’s not wrong.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 7, 2020
3. Different things are terrifying.
When you’re a parent, it’s losing (more) sleep.
Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 5 AM.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 2, 2020
2. They’ve been playing alone for 20 minutes?
That’s a win no matter how you slice it.
My 2 year old and 4 year old have been communicating via walkie talkie for twenty minutes. They're in the same room. The walkie talkies have no batteries. Over.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 3, 2020
1. I hope he can read.
That would make it even better.
me: *turns to face son in the back seat* you have until sunday to get your shit together boy pic.twitter.com/xglXSlRUL4
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) October 7, 2020
I love a good hilarious dad joke, don’t you? Of course you do! Why else would you be here? It’s not for humor about chimpanzees. That might be funny, but that’s now what this blog is about.
Okay, now it’s your turn to tell me your favorite joke in the comments!
Please and thank you!