Kids are a pain in the butt, they never sleep, and they wreck all of your stuff, but listen – they are also downright hilarious (and occasionally sweet).
It’s hard to keep track of all the funny things our kids say over the years (I have a book) because even though you think you’ll remember everything, you definitely won’t.
At least these 11 moms will have these immortal tweets to remind them of some hilarity at home – chances are they’ll need to remember why they love those munchkins one day soon!
11. First of all…
You know what, never mind. It’s funnier to leave it be.
My 5-year-old: Mom, why does an octopus get to have 8 testicles and I only have 2?
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) March 11, 2021
10. Maybe he should stay out of her room, then.
Like that’s ever going to happen.
*In my own room, minding my own business, getting dressed*
My 4YO walks in: Oh, good. I’m glad you’re putting your boobs away
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) March 6, 2021
9. Amen, sister.
That means it tastes good.
4yo: mommy what does this mean?
Me: that tells you how many calories it has
4yo: I want the one with the most calories
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 3, 2021
8. Those little poops.
But it’s still kind of funny.
My 4yo asked why their food “tasted weird” and my 8yo said “it’s because mummy didn’t burn it this time” and then all the kids clapped and I felt kind of proud
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) March 1, 2021
7. Mom was smarter.
Me: *makes soup*
4: *tastes it*
Me: do you like it?
4: *narrows eyes* who made it?
Me: *narrows eyes* grandma
4: I love it!
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) January 28, 2021
6. She’s only sort of wrong.
Though I don’t know why she’d want to eat them.
My 3yo niece wants dead grapes.
Raisins, she wants raisins.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 2, 2021
5. A fair point.
Every meal would be improved by ice cream.
Me: Dinner’s ready!
4YO: I don’t want that
Me: You don’t even know what it is
Him: I know it’s not ice cream
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) March 8, 2021
4. That makes perfect sense.
I mean honestly why isn’t it called that?
My 4yo nephew wants a wrist clock for his birthday.
A watch, he wants a watch.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 4, 2021
3. When the zombies come she’ll be ready.
Then you’ll be glad she’s a little weirdo.
Me: What are you doing sweet girl
4yo: Making my dolls eat brains.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 2, 2021
2. What fantastic advice.
This kid has it all together.
4yo starts to meltdown because I flushed the toilet instead of her (major faux pas). Then as tears brim over her eyelids, she takes a deep breath and says, “life is more important than toilets”
Life is more important than toilets, y’all.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 4, 2021
1. This’ll be a snap.
I wish I had the confidence of my 8yo who boldly declared she was going to teach her younger sister to read “real quick”.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) March 9, 2021
I just think kids are hilarious. And sometimes they have hilarious moms who share their hilarity on Twitter. And we all win!
What’s the funniest thing your kid ever said? Share with us in the comments!