Every single parent has a funny story (or more likely a journal full of them), but we’re not all great at turning a phrase in a way that makes other people laugh at our child’s funny antics.
These 11 people are, though, so don’t feel badly laughing at their kids or their day – we’ve all been there, too.
11. No s^x or socks.
Those are both valid rules.
At the hotel pool my 6yo kept saying “No sex in the pool” and I stared at him dumbfounded until I finally realized he was pointing at my socks
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) July 22, 2021
10. Let’s think about this, bud.
How could you solve your own problem?
8 doesn't want us to see him in his underwear anymore but instead of putting pajamas on he wears a blanket or just tells us "don't look at me" and i don't think he's going to be a problem solver.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 19, 2021
9. Sometimes they just say the right thing.
And then they’re your favorite, but only for the day.
4 drew a picture of our family and I asked why I was so much bigger than everyone else and he said “you’re the biggest because you know everything mummy“ and now he’s sitting in bed eating ice cream while I write “FAVOURITE CHILD” on his bedroom door
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 19, 2021
8. And it will change every week.
So there’s no way to block them on a search.
Welcome to parenthood. Your child will be assigned a favorite YouTuber who will make you want to slice your ears off shortly.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 20, 2021
7. That doesn’t make up for it.
I hate to be the one to break it to you.
My son asked if queens were real. I said, "yes, there's one" & pointed to my wife. So don't tell me I don't know how to make up for forgetting about date night.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 22, 2021
6. That’s a big word.
Go ahead and be proud.
My daughter named one of her barbies CATEGORY
— Meena Harris (@meena) July 21, 2021
5. If it was a snake it would bite them.
Again and again and again.
42% of parenting is locating things for your children that are in plain view OMG it's RIGHT. THERE.
— Ohio mom of two #BLM 🏳️🌈 (@OhioMomoftwo) July 22, 2021
4. Crocs are cool again.
So I guess the joke’s on you, Mom.
Husband: The kids just said I’m not young or cool anymore.
Me: *organizing his Crocs* I wonder why they’d say something like that.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 19, 2021
3. Fun and nutritious.
Blueberries are clearly the perfect food.
Child: [eating a bag of blueberries]
Me: Stocking up on your antioxidants?
Child: No. I think if I eat enough of these my poop will turn blue.
Me: give me some
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 23, 2021
2. All bread is good bread.
Just my opinion, of course.
6 asked for "pity bread" with hummus and that should tell you everything you need to know about my experiments with bread making this past year.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) July 22, 2021
1. If only that were a job.
Please inform me if it is.
My 6 year old told me, ‘Wow, you are eating ice cream and not getting messy at all! You should be an ice cream eater!” and now I’m thinking of making a career change.
— Mama Needs A Coke (@MamaNeedsACoke) July 19, 2021
Kids are honestly my favorite, and parenthood isn’t so bad, either.
What’s the funniest thing your child has said lately? Tell us about it in the comments!