There’s never any shortage of parenting tweets floating around the internet, but let me tell you – not all of them are gems. You can spend hours wading through the mediocre ones to get to the cream of the crop, and honestly, sometimes you can still miss the best of the best.
That’s where we come in, because we’re all about tracking down the parenting tweets you just can’t miss. And if you ask us, these 12 tweets have hit the funny truth right out of the park!
12. You gotta draw the line somewhere.
Also, maybe teach him about how generations work.
I asked my son to turn down his music and he 'okayed boomer' me so now we're turning off the wi-fi for a bit
— Bonerfide Killer🌺 (@Alohababe2011) August 4, 2020
11. There’s always more than one reason.
Hugs will fix more than you think.
There are times when I kiss and hug my son because I love him, and there are times I do it so 70 years from now he doesn't run for the presidency out of vainglorious spite and then kill 150,000 people because taking advice emasculates him.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) August 3, 2020
10. She hit the nail on the head, am I right, ladies?
Time for Papa Bear to make dinner.
Image Credit: Twitter
9. One day she’ll figure it out.
And then the two of you will have a sweet secret.
Somehow I’ve lucked out and have an 8yo who thinks secretly reading under the covers past her bedtime is an act of rebellion, and it hasn’t yet occurred to her that her flashlights never seem to run out of batteries.
— Robert McNees (@mcnees) August 13, 2020
8. We all get there eventually.
It’s the inevitable way of things.
Me at 13: I don't understand why old people are so cranky
Me at 43: oh
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 13, 2020
7. This is quite the protip.
I might go use it right now.
I just yelled, “1, 2, 3 mommy is lava!” and my kids ran away, leaving me to drink my coffee in peace. I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked for the day.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) August 10, 2020
6. Questions we all have.
But that no one really wants to answer.
Kid: What happens when we die?
Me: Let’s talk about something a little more lighthearted.
Kid: Why does your butt jiggle when you walk?
Me: So when a person dies…
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 1, 2020
5. Girlfriend is all about the drama.
I approve, wholeheartedly.
I took my daughter on a walk. This how she let me know she was done walking 😒 pic.twitter.com/saaTZebaGX
— Watch #AskJenn (@JENNontheRocks_) August 4, 2020
4. How dare, Mother.
Once a snail-eater, always a snail-eater.
My kids counted one less snail in their fish tank so now they’re crying, pointing at me because I’ve told them I tried a snail once at a fancy restaurant on vacation, some 20 years back.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) August 1, 2020
3. Walk in closets are amazing.
But really any room with a door will do.
My husband walks into our closet to find me drinking a large coffee and eating a doughnut in the dark. He says, "Do the kids know you are in here?" To which I reply, "Welcome to the teacher's lounge."
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) August 23, 2020
2. Gets ’em every time.
They don’t grasp the “don’t give them a reaction” thing until later.
As a dad there’s nothing more fun than intentionally singing the wrong lyrics to your kid’s favorite song
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) August 27, 2020
1. No one is asking for a bite of lettuce.
Even though they definitely should be.
Me as a parent trying to hide my snacks from the unemployed lazy people in my house. pic.twitter.com/s3Jq73zjEB
— *sen-ya chay* (@drawntosenia) August 17, 2020
Those were 100% worth my time, so I hope you feel the same way?
Did you already forward one to a friend? Tell us which one in the comments!