We all need a little sunshine and light in our lives these days, especially if we’re doing all of this with little (or not so little) kids under our roofs, right?
If tweets are your go-to source of merriment, we’ve got good news for you – these 13 are some of the best of the year (so far).
13. If that’s all she wants he could do it.
It’s a lot of work and he’s already her dad, though.
My daughter just told me she wished someone else was her dad. Someone specific. That man who goes on holiday and cooks shrimps on the beach. We worked through the details and it turns out she means Ainsley Harriott. My daughter wishes Ainsley Harriott was her dad.
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) April 29, 2020
12. She’s wearing a bra, though.
She’s one up on most of us these days.
Gwenyth Paltrow said in an interview we should take this time to learn a new language or write a book. I just shook chip crumbs out of my bra & I don’t know what day it is. I’m fairly certain I’m not going to attempt either of these things.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) March 28, 2020
11. If that isn’t a whole mood I don’t know what is.
Now I would like some sausage, please.
I’m not saying our healthy lifestyle has deteriorated under quarantine, but I just asked our 5yo what his favorite fruit is and he answered “sausage.”
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) April 15, 2020
10. Mine did this to me while I was holding for support the other day.
Twenty minutes of playing quietly, and once the lady picked up, everyone burst into tears (me included).
Working from home
2yo:
2yo:
2yo:
2yo:
2yo:
2yo:
2yo:
Me: *starts Skype meeting*
2yo: DAAAADDDDYYYY CAN YOU WIPE MY BUMBUM
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) April 8, 2020
9. They are experts at trolling.
I’m positive they know their grandparents will give them birthdays anyway.
https://twitter.com/VisionBored1/status/1250856223638982656
8. It’s what’s best for everyone.
And yeah by everyone I definitely mean me.
We‘re done with homeschooling we do anger management now.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) April 6, 2020
7. If this isn’t a Dad Tweet (TM) I don’t know what is.
As a wife, it gives me secondhand rage.
As I sit in isolation for hours, planning to keep a safe distance from my family, I hear them outside the door, shouting words of encouragement.
Like my kids saying, "Make us breakfast!"
And my wife adding, "GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. YOU AREN'T SICK!"
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 18, 2020
6. You have to pretend to be insulted.
Instead of agreeing like you want to. Parenting.
We’ve been trying to do more family dinners lately and it’s been nice to have this quality time together or as 11 calls it “ugh how long is this going to take?!”
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) April 7, 2020
5. At least he can’t read to look up more online.
I guess Alexa probably knows a few, though.
You know, I can handle a quarantine. I can handle rationing food. I can even handle having to relearn elementary math. But did this really have to be the week that my 4 year old learned to tell knock knock jokes?
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) March 18, 2020
4. There are so few places to truly hide.
They’ll find you eventually.
My neighbor just zipped herself inside their trampoline where her kids can’t get her. Fucking brilliant.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 2, 2020
3. Things deteriorated quickly.
And there’s no end in sight.
No school, Day 1
7:15am: we have puzzles, activity books, stickers… we’ll get through this!
8:03am: *googles boarding schools with no coronavirus*
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) March 16, 2020
2. It’s like a reflex.
Half of the time they don’t even want anything?
It’s honestly astounding how many times my kid can say “Mom” “Mommy” “ Mama” in a row. 😳🤯😱
— Reese Witherspoon (@ReeseW) April 30, 2020
1. Remember when it was just a couple of weeks?
Brb quietly sobbing.
Child: Hey tomorrow are we still go-
Me: Canceled.
Child: What about-
Me: Postponed.
Child: Well can we-
Me: It’s closed to the public for the rest of the month.
Child:
Me:
Child: This is gonna be a loooong couple of weeks for you.— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 15, 2020
Did you enjoy our best of list?
Tell us which one was your favorite in the comments!