I think it’s fair to say that every last one of us did and believed some totally weird things when we were little – it’s just human nature. Some of them were funny, some were really stupid, and some could have definitely been dangerous, and if you’re wondering where you fell on the “weird kid” scale, read on.
These 13 people are brave enough to bare their weirdest moments, so please, enjoy.
13. Snitches, man.
I used to eat mechanical pencil lead.
No idea how I got into that habit, but I think I enjoyed the crunchiness of it.
Did it for a little while, but showed a classmate and she immediately went to the teacher who then called my mom who scolded me and told me to stop.
Goodbye 0.7 mm, you will be missed.
12. That would definitely be frowned upon as an adult.
When I was a wee lad I would wander about the house naked and pull back me foreskin to show visitors.
I don’t do that anymore though.
11. Someone explain the science, please.
Running any lollipop or sucker I ate under the faucet water after every lick because somehow it tasted better after being rinsed lol
10. That’s a very peculiar fear.
When I was in elementary school I would use one hand to cover my butt when I showered because I was afraid that a monster would warp through the bathroom wall and attack my butthole
9. I have a few questions.
I would only sit on the toilet with the shower cap on my head.
8. One of the best parts of being a kid.
Several friends and myself had a fascination with writing in code.
We had little pocket notebooks full of codes and deciphering instructions (also in code) and would write volumes of notes between us in code.
Notebooks got confiscated by a teacher, we wouldn’t tell her how to decode, she tried to get us in trouble.
Parents thought it was hilarious.
I’m almost 60 and I still have one of these notebooks around somewhere.
7. Someone was lacking in entertainment.
Had an imaginary friend that I would make bets with, that I was guaranteed to win. The prize being ludicrous amounts of imaginary money.
“Hey Joe, I bet you 1 figillion septriligon dollars I can hold my breath for 3 seconds”
God I was rich back then…
6. How to blow a kid’s mind.
I didn’t know that people could see my eyes move and used to have my head in one direction and look with my eyes somewhere else.
It wasn’t before a girl saw me looking at her and said « what are YOU looking att» i figured that out.
I Was 7 or 8 years old and my mind was blown ,my eyes move???
5. The only one ever!
Saying some gibberish all the time and thinking that it is probably meaningful in some languages.
I also used to make random noise and word combinations and get into really weird contorted poses to be “the only one to ever do this.”
I felt smart as heck.
4. I mean, when else are you allowed to eat straight butter?
Wearing velcro strap shoes so tight they’d probably cut off the circulation in my feet because I was worried my shoes would fall off.
I used to eat butter straight out the tub too, my 5 year old niece has started doing it… maybe it’s a family trait
3. Just because he could.
Used to piss in bottles. Like outside. Where, you know, I could have just pissed anywhere
I once got busted for breaking a pane of plastic in a neighbors shed because I left my distinctive calling card at the scene.
Fwiw, I piss in urinals and toilets now. (I only piss in bottles when robbing the national mint)..
2. Just anyone, not necessarily family.
I would walk out the bathroom after taking a shit and spread my ass cheeks to whoever was in the living room and ask, “Is my butt clean?”.
One time it was the guy cleaning our carpet.
1. It was still a win for her parents.
For much of second grade, for some reason, my parents let me pack my own lunch.
I had two sandwiches of choice- one was what I called a triple butter sandwich: peanut butter, apple butter, and butter. A little strange, but okay.
The other was a lettuce sandwich. White bread, mayo, and a few leaves of iceburg lettuce.
I have no idea how they let me eat that for most of a full school year.
I have no regrets about the triple butter sandwich- apple butter, if you’ve never had it, is pretty delicious, and I’m relatively sure I put butter in there just because it made sense, because they were all butter, right? But it wasn’t bad. Apple butter, to answer the frequent question, is sort of like an apple jam- basically imagine the process for making apple sauce but you cook it down longer and it gets all caramelized and concentrated, it’s great.
It’s more letting your kid make a sandwich from a little bit of lettuce that I question. (I appreciate a lot of people saying it was good parenting because they were making sure I had something I’d eat, but uh you’re being charitable, it was more that they weren’t great parents and probably didn’t pay attention. I wasn’t a fussy kid at all, unless you tried feeding me asparagus, I’d eat pretty much anything.)
And to the “concerned redditor [who] reached out to” Reddit about me, that’s kind of hilarious.
The world would be a lot less interesting without childhoods, wouldn’t it?
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve caught your kids doing? Tell us about it in the comments!