Life is messy, and that fact compounds with every new person (or pet) that joins yours.
Kids are great but they’re also a tornado of emotions and toys, jabber and sleepless nights, all set to wreak havoc on the lives of adults who had fooled themselves into thinking they were 100% functional.
If you’re needing a reminder that you’re not alone in the hazard zone of your life, these 13 funny tweets from parents just like you should totally do the trick!
13. These kinds of questions hurt.
Because tacos every day sounds great.
My daughter asked why she can’t eat tacos every day and honestly, I’d have an easier time explaining where babies come from.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) April 6, 2021
12. That stuff is so dang sticky, too.
If only someone would clean it up before it gets crusted on.
The way my kids use toothpaste they’ll never have a cavity in their bathroom sink
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 8, 2021
11. Mother knows best.
Now there’s someone else who tells you what to do.
ME: *exists*
KID: that’s not how mommy does it
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 25, 2021
10. There are small perks along the way.
You’ve got to grab onto them with both hands.
my four year old just asked me to eat the rest of her fries and i wept for suddenly the pain of childbirth was erased
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 8, 2021
9. Just take it.
Neither of you wants to talk about that.
My son washed his own bedding last night so I’m torn between being thrilled and mortified as to why he washed his own bedding.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) April 8, 2021
8. That knowledge is so close.
It’s gonna be an awkward day when it dawns, full and bright.
“Dad isn’t it weird that the word chicken can mean an animal or a type of food?”
– my kid, on the verge of making a horrific realization
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) March 29, 2021
7. A pie it is, then.
What a great idea.
Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said “cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies” like she was citing from some kind of Preschool Oracle.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) April 5, 2021
6. This is a kid after my own heart.
Also, keep an eye on that one.
Me: How’s your foot, buddy?
4: It still hurts.
Me: What would help?
4: Maybe donuts? We need to try or we won’t know.
This kid gets it.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) March 28, 2021
5. This is why they make chocolate cereal.
I’m pretty sure.
I told my son he can’t have chocolate for breakfast. After 5 minutes of crying and screaming, we compromised and both had chocolate for breakfast.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 7, 2021
4. My internal monologue a good percentage of the time.
If only adults could also say that aloud.
I asked my 6yo “aren’t you gonna help me plant flowers” and she said “oh mommy I would love to do that except that I don’t want to”
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 5, 2021
3. He gets it.
But also he doesn’t get it.
10-year-old: Why do people eat salads?
Me: They want to be healthy. Do you want to try one?
10: No, I want to be happy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 25, 2021
2. That little liar.
It’s ok. You knew there was something.
5-year-old: Dad, you're cool.
Me: What do you want?
5: Nothing.
Me: Well, thanks.
5: Can I have ice cream?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 16, 2021
1. I can’t stop laughing at this.
No amount of logic can stop a preschooler.
My 3 year old is SCREAMING because a car just like my wife's passed us on the freeway and she wants to tell her hi. Did I mention that we just dropped my wife off at work? Did I mention that we are in my wife's car?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 7, 2021
I’m going to go clean up after my little tornados now.
Share your favorite of these tweets with us in the comments!
Thanks Awkward Mom, fam!