Some babies are planned and wanted, hoped for and tried for over months or even years. Others are total surprises but still loved and wanted, and as far as I can tell, it’s the last two components that really matter the most.

It can be a shock to the system, though, seeing those two pink lines when you really, really didn’t expect it – and if you’re wondering what it’s like, here are 14 parents who have been there to tell you from experience.

14. I definitely think it’s different for men.

It doesn’t meant they don’t have feelings about being a father.

13. At least he came around in the end.

I imagine those were a tense couple of weeks.

12. The actual baby will make it real, and fast.

RIP your sleep, but the rest of it is pretty awesome.

11. We pick ourselves up and start planning.

Because it’s coming no matter how we feel about it.

10. Some people love surprises.

Even ones that upend your life, I suppose.

9. It can be a little bit addictive.

Those sweet little cheeks.

8. Wait for the feelings to abate, then think about it.

Find a way for your head and your heart to agree.

7. There are so many emotions that go into it.

Literally all of them, at one point or another.

6. That’s a lot to take in at once.

But at least the first trimester was a breeze.

5. Literally any way you feel is ok.

We have options.

4. One that never really slows down.

In my experience, anyway.

3. Support makes such a huge difference.

It’s not always as scary as we think it’s going to be at first.

2. We find ways to make it work.

Love goes a long way.

1. Babies definitely don’t care about timing.

The right time is when it happens, mostly.

There’s no right or wrong way to respond, I don’t think, but it can definitely be a wow moment.

If you’ve had an unplanned pregnancy, tell us in the comments the first thoughts that went through your head when you found out!