Everyone makes mistakes. We know that now, and obviously, children make more than their fair share – they’re still learning, after all, and not just about life.
They’re learning what’s wrong and what’s right, and so many of the mistakes they make are done without any intention or malice whatsoever.
These 14 people are looking back over their childhoods, ready to share the very worst things they did on accident.
14. Yep he’s the one.
My dad told me about the son, Bryan, of my favorite uncle and how he wasn’t doing very well in school. We were on our way up to visit for a few days and he wanted to fill me in on the family. The son was about to graduate high school and about ten years older than me.
As soon as I saw Bryan, I asked my dad loud enough for all to hear, “is he the one you said is failing in school?”
13. It’s haunting.
I dry humped the sofa while my parents watched in silent horror.
I thought I was the first person to discover that rubbing my penis on things felt good. Many pieces of furniture fell victim to my testing. I discovered that the sofa was the best and I had to show my parents.
I couldn’t keep this to myself! I told them to come to the living room. I had something amazing to show them. I didn’t just sexual assault their couch. I was teaching a class on it. Offering to let my dad have a go.
They just stood there. It haunts me to this day. I have never asked them about it. They must have thought they were raising a sexual predator.
12. That’s one bad moment.
When I was about 8 I asked my dad if we could play “the naked man game.” My dad, trying not to panic, asked me what it was. I responded “it’s the one we play when [the babysitter] is over.”
He then asked me to show him where the naked man game was, so I took him to the closet, opened the door, and pointed up to Operation.
He told me years later that he nearly had a heart attack.
11. Well that’s terrible.
I broke my parents up.
I asked my Mum if I could have dinner at my “Aunt Christie”‘s house again because she cooked my favourite pasta. Turns out Mum didn’t know who “Aunt Christie” was – which is because she wasn’t really my aunt, she was the co-worker my Dad was sleeping with.
10. Don’t trust the clown.
When I was 6 I went to a birthday party with a clown. The clown told us a “secret”, he said that he still wore nappies and that he trusts us and so we mustn’t tell anyone.
When I got home I told my Mum I had a secret the clown told me and I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. I really believed him when he said he wore nappies and was embarrassed and didn’t want to betray his trust so I refused to tell her…until she started crying and begging me to tell her.
I didn’t understand why she reacted like that until I was a little bit older and the relief on her face finally made sense!
9. This hurts my heart.
I almost let my younger stepbrother drown.
I (8 yr old) was supposed to be holding his(2yr old) hand while we were at lake fishing. He yanked out of my grasp and took off full sprint into the water. My stepmom had to go diving in after him.
They blamed it on me but as an adult with kids about that same age, I would never trust a 8 year old to watch a toddler around a body of water. So it’s their fault.
8. Sure it is.
My baby sister once said to one of the nursery staff that her favourite thing to do was “crack with mummy”.
After some concerned phone calls and some explanation. Mum explained to them that “crack” was when they hit the top of a boiled egg with a spoon.
7. Pretty impressive.
I called it “the wolf game.”
I’d stand halfway between my house and the woods and howl, and see how many wolves I could get to show up.
My record was three before common sense kicked in… I should not have survived to adulthood lol.
6. How charming.
My grandparents used to have a time share condo in Florida, basically an old person’s community.
My mom took me there when I was maybe 5-6, I would sit on the balcony and just shout, “hey you’re really old” at all the people that walked by. I’ve never been to Florida since.
Up until I was around 6 or 7, whenever my family and I were heading out of a restaurant, and I noticed that my parents were forgetting cash on the table, I would always make sure to grab it and slip it back into my mom’s purse.
I didn’t know tipping was a thing, and it’s not until I made a comment about how they were always leaving money lying around at restaurants, and how I always had to be the one to keep an eye out for it and make sure they didn’t forget it, that they realized what was going on, and I learned.
I cost a lot of waiters their tips 🙁
4. What on earth.
I unknowingly broke my arm when I was four. My parents had no idea. I didn’t complain much even though it hurt like hell. I wound up carrying my arm around with the other arm.
Parents noticed me doing this but didn’t know what to think. The break eventually healed this way and when I went for a check up the doctor informed my parents that I had broken my arm.
3. Gotta love those stories.
I put a canned Miller Lite in my Pikachu lunch box in the 2nd grade because I wanted to be the cool kid at the lunch table and impress my friends.
Unfortunately, my mom saw how shady I was acting protecting my lunchbox and ended up opening it. She was livid.
Til this day, she still brings it up. It’s basically the go-to story when I bring someone new to the house.
2. If the shoe fits.
When I was 7, I was in the family change room/locker room at a swimming pool when I noticed a stray thumb tack sitting on the ground under a bench. Didnt know why it was there but some morbid curiosity told me to place it on the ground in the open with the pin side up.
About 5 minutes later, I started to think about how dangerous that could be and went to go pick it up only to find this teenage girl sitting on the bench in severe pain and nursing her foot while her family was helping and inspecting it.
The last thing I remember was the girl saying, “who would do this???” And her father responding, “A F**KING IDIOT, THATS WHO.”
1. Oh noooooo.
When I was little I overheard my mom saying how my aunt chewed with her mouth open. Sometime later my aunt is in the car with my mom, myself and my sister, and I proudly yell out how my mom says she chews with her mouth open. It was terribly awkward and I’m glad I can only remember fragments of it.
Another time I came home from school crying and in front of my mother and grandmother told my mom how at school everyone else has a great-grandmother but I have a mean one. Didn’t understand the concept and we laugh about it constantly now.
Those are some confessions, y’all.
Try to keep things like this in mind while dealing with you own littles, hmm?