If you’re married or have been married, there are some things you know to be 100% true – and if you haven’t been married, just ask someone who is to confirm!

All relationships are different, but at their core, we’re more alike that we sometimes believe. Once you read through this list of 14 fundamental truths about living your life alongside another human being by choice, you won’t be able to deny it!

14. Love doesn’t simply survive on its own. It is maintained through actions.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9FENj6FLSn/

You have to put money in the bank for a rainy day.

13. There are many, many roles in a marriage: coach, confidant, cheerleader, chore-handler, locater-of-strange-night-noises, etc. But the most important role to remember is teammate.

Remind yourself often that you are on the same side.

12. The cute little habits you love about your spouse in the beginning will, after a few years together, be the source of madness.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8d2TpQH-LX/

Truer words have never been spoken.

11. You can — and will — talk shit about your partner to others. But when others talk shit about them, it will fill you with rage.

It’s how you know it’s true love.

10. If you’re not trying to improve yourself, you’re not trying to improve your marriage.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9FFRdqnVXb/

Say this to yourself over and over.

9. Divorce doesn’t mean that a marriage was a failure. The journey has value beyond the destination.

This can be hard to remember in the moment.

8. Marriage will teach you, more than anything in life, when to shut up.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8_95KqFlf1

Some people are, admittedly, really slow learners.

7. Intimacy — both emotional and physical — is the fuel of a marriage.

Don’t take it for granted.

6. When you marry your partner, you marry their family and everything that comes with it. Act accordingly.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6DidEJAIhE/

You knew what you were getting into.

5. At some point, you’ll talk to your single friends and think Man, that’s the life. Equally as often, you’ll talk to your single friends and think They don’t know what they’re missing.

Both things are true at the same time.

4. There’s also truth to this one by Ben Franklin: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” In other words, you have to take certain things with a grain of salt.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BziivYhHGzi

You would do well to let some things slide off your back.

3. Having a sense of humor about things will take you far; knowing when not to make a joke will take you further.

The couple that laughs together, stays together.

2. In most situations, it’s helpful to assume that, not matter what the result was, your partner probably meant the best.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9CfU9woVh7

If you can do this, it will take you far.

1. It’s not enough to take care of your spouse. You also have to look after yourself.

Happiness starts with you.

I’m feeling less alone and ready to high-five everyone else making it through the days and nights without murdering the loud-chewer in their life!

What would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments!