Kids ask tons of questions. Some of them don’t make sense, some of them we know the answers to, and some of them stump us so hard we can’t even make something up – and that’s what Google (or Alexa) is for, my friends.
You put the work off on the internet, and sometimes, you put the internet to work for you – because being a parent also means you have some pretty bizarre questions of your own.
Here are 14 things that seem crazy to ask…unless you’re a parent, because if you are, you’ve probably asked some of them yourself.
14. Too bad they can’t read.
No way they’re going to just believe you.
Every day with a toddler is a new and exciting adventure. Like today I’m googling if it’s possible to unpop a bubble so I can show my screaming 2yo that it is indeed, impossible. #momlife #toddlerlife #parenting
— MichiMama 💓 (@michimama75) September 16, 2018
13. This is so going to be me.
My brain doesn’t math.
Unlocked the "had to Google my son's math concepts" level of parenting tonight.
— Titania Jordan (@titaniajordan) September 13, 2018
12. The answer is most often no.
Until it’s yes. And you fall asleep too.
If there was a Google For Parents, would "is it bedtime yet?" be the clear cut favourite as most asked question?
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) April 13, 2016
11. And doing laundry.
So. Much. Laundry.
If you like googling symptoms at 3am while a small person coughs all over your pillow, you'll love parenting. And coffee.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) September 21, 2015
10. At least we’re all learning new things.
There are always positives.
Had to google whether or not a Phoenix was a real bird or not, so yes, I believe parenting is going well here.
— Courtney (@Discourt) November 24, 2012
9. Maybe we could be getting lazy.
The technology is coming for us all, clearly.
Parenting, 50 years ago: I have so much to teach you, children.
Parenting, now: I have so much to Google for you, children.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 1, 2019
8. I am not excited about this stage of parenting.
It’s much easier when I can fix all of their problems.
I just googled THOT and other nonsensical words to try and figure out what this girl is tweeting about my daughter.
Being a mom is hard.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 30, 2014
7. Writers think the same thing.
A box to check that says “I’m not a murderous creep,” maybe.
Someone needs to invent a Google for parents so I don't have to worry about being put on a list when trying to shop for girls' underpants.
— Just Bren Is Fine (@ogbrenna) September 25, 2012
6. If he’s so smart he should do his own homework.
I’m just saying.
10-year-old: "Dad, is my math homework right?"
Me: "Hang on buddy, I just have to check something on my phone."
10-year-old: "Dad, are you Googling how to do my 4th grade math homework."
— Pre-order Book #2 now! (@DaddyFiles) May 2, 2018
5. Those first days as a new parent are rough.
You’re scared of so many things you never realized existed before then.
An "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" for new parents called, "Oh, the Weird Shit You'll Google While Hanging Off the Side of the Mattress so Your Screen Doesn't Wake Up the Baby!"
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) July 22, 2020
4. I’d say…maybe?
You should definitely disclose something like that.
Husband: How were the kids today?
Me: Not right now. I’m busy Googling whether or not I can divorce you for neglecting to tell me that your balls housed the literal spawn of Satan.
H: So better than yesterday, cool.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) January 30, 2020
3. Both answers work.
Mostly because your kids aren’t really listening, anyway.
How did people parent before google? My kids are like "why does lightning happen" and I google it to give them an answer. Maybe this explains why my parents always told me that thunder was "angels bowling on top of the clouds" and shit like that
— The Dad (@thedad) November 15, 2019
2. Yes, everything is a competition.
Especially in a marriage.
Homework is basically which parent is better at Google
— Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) January 21, 2016
1. It’s called support, Karen.
And someone to give you wine recommendations.
Facebook mom groups are just white ladies asking each other things they can google and then every once in awhile posting a photo of a rash
— amil (@amil) November 22, 2020
None of these surprise me, but they do make me laugh.
What question can you not believe you’ve had to ask once becoming a parent? Tell us about it in the comments!