Everyone approaches parenthood a bit differently, and the days, weeks, and years shape us all in myriad ways. Fatherhood is a different experience from motherhood, no doubt – something that can be hard to remember if you don’t perform the duties on a daily basis.
These 14 dads do a great job relaying what it’s like for them, and in a single tweet, no less! Check them out for a glimpse behind the curtain!
14. We can’t always get what we want.
I’m sure he taught them that.
6-year-old: What do you want for Father's Day?
Me: For you and your sisters to get along.
6: I'll make you a card.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2020
13. They’re definitely up to something.
He’s just going to have to wait for it.
All four of my kids are taking a nap at the same time.
This has never, ever happened before.
Obviously it's a trap.
I'll be in my bunker.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2020
12. These are the rules, he didn’t make them up.
He’s a dad, he has to follow them.
Dad vacation to do list
1. Wake up at 6 AM for no reason
2. Buy a local newspaper
3. Complain about the coffee maker
4. Try to make people feel bad for sleeping in
5. Seafood
6. Call the GPS stupid
7. Organize the fishing stuff again— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 18, 2020
11. Must have been a pretty convincing impression.
I feel this deep in my bones.
My toddler shouted “I NEED A BREAK FROM ALL OF YOU” and then locked himself in his bedroom. When we asked what happened he replied “nothing I’m just being daddy”
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) March 31, 2020
10. In our house it’s “it’s morning time.”
Which means “wake up and turn on the television.”
I hate when mother fuckers roll up on me while im sleeping and say shit like "Daddy its wake up time"
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) February 15, 2013
9. That might go double for boys.
Idk though, girls can be pretty crazy.
My oldest said Nutflix instead of Netflix then he laughed and laughed until my youngest punched him in the crotch. Living with kids is literally like living with the dudes from Jackass.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 18, 2020
8. We all have our roles to play.
Might as well go ahead and accept it.
Me: Time to go, my child
3: May I play for 5 more minutes, father?
Me: I will allow this
3: But father, understand, in five minutes I will be compelled to throw an epic tantrum as if you had egregiously violated our terms of agreement
Me: Do what you must, my child
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) June 17, 2020
7. Does that…does that work?
You know what, I’m going to try it and see.
When my toddler throws one of his epic tantrums I don’t get mad, instead I try to understand what is making him behave this way, and then with complete love and empathy I tell him those 7 magic words:
Calm. The fuck. Down. You tiny psycho.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 18, 2020
6. This makes sense.
I mean, they have to learn somehow.
https://twitter.com/NewDadNotes/status/1273446273933283328
5. Idk if it’s really “new.”
I’m pretty sure it’s been that way for awhile. Maybe forever.
"Daddy, I want mommy" is the new "Let me speak to your fucking manager."
— Stone Cold Daddy (@Stonecolddaddy_) May 7, 2020
4. Wow he worked really hard for that.
Maybe too hard, idk, you be the judge.
Son: what was the first dad joke in history?
Me: probably i’mroglyphics
Son: i’mroglyphics?
Me: hieroglyphics, i’m dad : )
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) May 17, 2020
3. Mom with the save!
You might as well have the talk though whatever.
Child: Why are our neighbors banging so loudly?
Me:
Child:
Me:
Child:
Me: Well, when a man and woman love each oth-
Wife [running in from next room]: CONSTRUCTION THEY ARE DOING CONSTRUCTION— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 18, 2020
2. They’ll be so proud.
But also they’re still hungry.
my wife telling the kids that the McRib is back which actually means I quit my job to start rapping again
— brent (@murrman5) March 26, 2019
1. It’s okay; we’re all thinking it.
And you’re Ryan Reynolds! You can say whatever you want!
My daughters wanted to be Avengers. Now it’s Healthcare Workers because, “they’re the real heroes”. Well, in 20 years, who’s gonna defeat a menacing, no-nonsense CGI villain, backdropped by sincere musical swells? I’m not supposed to say it out loud, but kids are dumb.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 5, 2020
I’m fascinated and appreciate dads more than ever!
What’s your favorite dad move? Dad joke? Let’s talk about dads in the comments!