It’s nothing new, but the ladies continue to kill it on Twitter with their witty jokes and observations.
And here’s around round-up of tweets from some seriously funny women.
1. Treat yourself
So Beyonce had a strict diet prepping for Coachella..no dairy, no carbs, no alcohol, no meat, no fish, and no sugar. I know some women with that same diet prepping for a wedding. You are marrying a guy name Dan who eats chicken pot pie at diners, ya’ll can have some bread.
— Sydnee Washington (@Justsydnyc) April 19, 2019
Canadian Judaism is my cousin sneakily having the Leaf game on in the other room during the Seder pic.twitter.com/D7EteGFUS0
— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) April 20, 2019
3. Is that good or bad?
my bf and I broke up bc I wouldn’t stop calling him Rat King in bed
— ellory smith (@ellorysmith) April 19, 2019
4. Time for a spending spree!
Good news, online retailers! I feel bad and bored!
— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) April 18, 2019
“—KLAHOMA WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAINS”
— Ayo Edebiri (@ayoedebiri) April 19, 2019
6. Throw in the towel
u ever do one (1) workout and immediately have to face the fact that u will not survive the apocalypse
— わるい jes ? (@jestom) April 19, 2019
7. Don’t you feel better now?
sometimes I don't like my body but then I remember all the humiliating, time-intensive and ultimately futile things men have done to access it and suddenly feel better
— Pamela Ross (@PamNotAnderson) April 17, 2019
8. Nice work!
I have to tell you, I successfully took a day off of Twitter and I got so much TV-watching done.
— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) April 19, 2019
9. Now that’s awkward
Sure, watching your own stand up on TV with your family is awkward but have you ever tried attending a Passover Seder with your Palestinian wife while she whispers, “let *my* people go”?
— jess salomon (@jess_salomon) April 20, 2019
10. Just chill
when i get sad abt not having gone to an hbcu i just remember that i prolly woulda got pregnant and dropped out sophomore year & i chill
— tracy the emotional support penguin (@brokeymcpoverty) April 18, 2019
11. Do it!
Someone do an arrangement combining Lizzo’s “Jerome” and Amy Winehouse’s version of “Valerie” for the bisexuals
— Natalie Walker (@nwalks) April 19, 2019
12. Not a pretty picture
Ordered mac n cheese from a not-unfancy Italian restaurant on my street and got this, which I’m pretty sure is a hate crime pic.twitter.com/QnsxAB0dh8
— alanna bennett (@AlannaBennett) April 20, 2019
13. At your expense
Yesterday I went on a park swing and when I walked away a 4 year old boy said “wow you were on there for a while” and the children all had a laugh. gorgeous spring day
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) April 17, 2019
14. How brave
supermodel: *pointing to a freckle on her leg* I embrace all my flaws and stretch marks…I call this little guy tiger ?
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) April 16, 2019
15. Top of the world
I'm watching the Flat Earth Documentary and have never felt smarter in my life, this is like the intellectual version of feeling hot at a gas station
— Bron.com (@brondotcomputer) April 14, 2019
Keep up the funny business, ladies!