It’s harder than ever, in this day and age, to give kids the sort of privacy they want as they grow up and try standing on their own two feet. There’s just so many dangers online, and it’s too easy to hide behavior and contacts if parents aren’t on top of their games.
Parents have to follow their kids’ accounts, have access to their passwords, and monitor family computers as well, but there’s no way to do that and avoid some seriously awkward parent-child moments.
Below are 15 that might prepare you for conversations to come.
My girls and 8 and 10 and so far we’ve seen “sucking bo*bies” and “scooby doo s^x”. It’s great.
Parenting is great. Send help.
14. Bless his heart.
When he was little, my brother once wanted to help us find a cool new purse to order for my mom’s birthday.
He image searched “fun bags,” and my parents had to answer a LOT of questions.
13. That’s not how you spell it duh.
Not a parent, but the other day my twelve year old little brother posted a topless photo on instagram with the caption “F*ckBoy”
12. They were terrified.
When I was 8 or 9, I typed butt.com into the search bar, because I was with a friend and trying to be funny not thinking there could actually be a REAL website… yeah… we were shocked to see that it was a real website.
With lots of naked ladies. We both ran screaming out the room and I wouldn’t go near the computer for days.
11. Oh my god what.
Not my kid but on Halloween I saw a post on my 17 year old cousin’s snapchat that was a selfie captioned, (verbatim) “Any girls tryna come over here and suck on this spooky d%ck and get festive with some pumpkin spice lattes”
I immediately face palmed then laughed my ass off for a solid 15 minutes.
10. That could have landed dad in a ton of trouble.
Not a parent, but my cousin one time got onto the computer when he was 11 or 12 or so and searched for “naked 12 year old girls”.
I was there when his stepdad checked through the browser history, and needless to say he and my cousin had a chat about acceptable search terms.
9. Those poor girls.
I have two quick stories–
When I was a little girl, I wanted to play some Barbie games or look at girl stuff so I went to Girls.com. Went down stairs to my mom crying in order to rat myself out.
My little sister had something similar happen. She wanted to look at new bikes in order to decide what to ask Santa for. She went to Dicks.com hoping to see Dick’s Sporting Goods. Instead she saw a lot of shlong.
Guess it runs in the family.
8. Why would they?
Not social media but once caught both of my nieces playing an animated game online where the objective was to spank a cartoon butt with a paddle. Every time they’d “swing the paddle” at the butt, it would emit the sound of a woman moaning.
They couldn’t understand why the game was inappropriate and were laughing hysterically while playing.
7. The important lessons.
A friend from work’s son goes to a fairly strict Catholic school. One day I was walking out to my car, and she was outside yelling on the phone and generally freaking out. I waited around, she usually has a lot of funny drama going on.
She hangs up the phone, looks at me and starts hyperventilating and then laughs hysterically. I was like, girl what is going on? She said her son’s principal called she and her husband need to come to the school immediately, that her son will fill her in on the rest. She continues to tell me her son said he got caught looking at naked ladies on the internet, and the principal printed out his search history.
He searched “boobie prawn” and “lady parts” during class. She was yelling at her husband on the phone, telling him about the situation, and all he had to say was, “we should have taught him how to delete the history.”
6. I have questions.
My 15-year old step bro-in-law used my wife’s laptop while he was visiting the house and forgot to clear the history. His google searches included: girls pussing, hot puss, pussy willows, boobs and pussing, pussing s^x.
Hmmm, now that I type this out I am wondering if he was just misspelling ‘pissing.’ That would make a little sense… albeit not comforting.
5. What a good sister.
Ok it should be my parents telling this story but here goes. So when I was a youngin and just exploring the internet I would usually just go on Disney Channel to play games but I wanted to find more sites with fun girly stuff on them. So of course I just went to “girls.com”. WELL.
That took me right to a po*n site and my little self was like WHOOPS and closed it right away. Well apparently my dad had been looking at the browser history and noticed. So my dad is interrogating my two older brothers asking who was looking at po*n and they of course said it wasn’t them.
My dad was persistent with trying to get them to confess until I come down the stairs and confess that it was me. My brothers had the biggest sigh of relief
4. If you say so, kid.
Not a parent, but some of my students (7th and 8th grade) ask to add me on Instagram. The worst username I’ve come across is “bootywarrior13”
3. There ya go, Dad.
Not a parent, but when I was a kid I found an adult flash game website. I would go on it whenever I had the chance. Eventually my mom found out and she told my dad to talk to me about it.
My dad and I got into the car and he started this serious talk about how “the internet is a very powerful tool…” I felt really guilty. Then he told me how to erase the browsing history.
2. We all know it’s coming.
When I was like 12 my dad found Dragon Ball Z Hentai in my history searches and proceeded to look through all of the pages while I hid in the bathroom pretending to take a sh%t.
I remember him yelling my name and having to mentally prepare to deny everything LMAO. I’m scared to have kids and find their po*n searches
1. Your kid is cooler than you.
That my son is an urban explorer.
He’s 14 and I saw some video of him and his friends sneaking into an old air force base and climbing to the top of an air hangar.
Argh, I’m not ready for this sort of stuff, y’all.
If you’re a parent who has had to deal with conversations like these, give us your tips in the comments!