Parents lie to their kids for all kinds of reasons, most of which I feel like are pretty innocuous. You want some alone time, you want them to behave, you want them to not question what you’re telling them, or you’re just not ready to talk about the truth in a certain scenario, maybe – those are just a few.
These 15 parents really thought they were elevating the art of getting their kids with creative lies, and in some cases, I think they actually succeeded.
15. That might have been going a bit far.
That my uncle got cancer from having lunchables for lunch at school.
Like dang, just tell me we can’t afford it.
14. He might be telling the truth.
Asked my dad why most of his hair was missing. He told me that when he was young, his hair was so silky and soft, the fairies came in the night and pulled it out, strand by strand, to make silk curtains for their fairy palaces.
Also, the reason he had a gold tooth was that he stopped one night to help a witch who was stuck by the side of the road with a broken broomstick. When he mended it for her, she cast a spell and gave him a golden tooth to say thankyou.
Don’t you dare say my pa was lying to me unless you can prove it.
13. The long stories are always the best ones.
My dad has a scar on his toe. God knows why but when we asked what it was from as small children, he spun a big long tale about how he was camping and took a long hike and had disturbed a deer and it bit his toe to chase him away – “…and that is why you have to be respectful of animal’s space when you’re out in the woods.” (My dad is one of those storytelling old men who loves to bullshit you.)
So fast forward to high school. Someone is talking about a buck deer ramming someone’s car and I start to say “Yeah, deer can be aggressive! My dad was once…uhhh… nevermind.” As it completely clicked that he was full of shit.
He also told my kid sister that roadkill (obviously not the specimens that were bloody pancakes) were animals who had been traveling for a very long time and needed to take a nap and chose to sleep on the road “so everyone could see them.” She told me a few years ago she believed for an embarrassingly long time.
12. Someone was backed into a corner with this one.
A bl*wj*b is when someone gets a job as a glass blower.
11. It can still sting even as an adult.
My dad has a knife cover that’s full of fur, and when I asked about it as a child he told me he went to Africa to hunt lions and so he did that cover.
Years later I asked about it again, I think I was 8 or 9, my mother and him laughed, then they told me it was a lie… That day I felt so betrayed hahaha
10. Oof, that’s tough.
The sky is blue because it’s the reflection of the ocean. I got laughed at in HS science class because of it.
9. They’re actually related, I think.
Those are tomato plants.
“Those” look nothing like tomato plants. But, I love them both.
8. Why would you say that to your kid??
“If I don’t go to work, I will be fired. Do you know what that means? It means they fire a gun at me and I die. That’s why I have to go to work.”
That ended up traumatizing me far more than my parents probably intended.
7. People are still perpetuating this lie.
‘Getting a job is easy! Just walk in, ask for the manager, give a firm handshake and boom!’
My grandmother thinks it’s okay to call a company and ask if they got your CV and if you should go in for an interview.
6. At least he can laugh about it now.
I used to wear a bear costume like everyday when I was 5. One day, my mom already freakin’ tired of that costume told me it was ‘bear hunting season’ already and that it was no longer safe to go out dressed like that.
The memory of she telling me that is forever locked in my memory now. I still to this day remember how reckless I felt for not having considered that…
We still laugh about that lie.
5. Well that’s horrifying.
We lived off a dirt road with many potholes. My dad told me that they were made by people sneaking out of the woods in the middle of the night and stealing a shovel full of dirt.
4. Bless their hearts.
When our family cocktatiel bird call spot died I was told that we couldn’t look after it any more due to my parents being at work all the time it wasn’t fair on him so we were going to donate him to our local farm who were looking for a male cockatiel to go with their female one…
15 years later I found out that we didn’t donate him, he had actually died but my parents didn’t want to tell 6 year old me that so made up the donation story!
I was mortified!!!!
3. Who doesn’t want square eyes?
If I stared too close to the screen, my eyes will become squares. This just prompted me to be closer to the screen.
2. Only if it’s real silver.
My dad told me not to put silverware in the fridge becuase it would poison the food. My brother beleived it until he was 25.
1. Worked like a charm.
My mom told me that she could always tell when I was lying because my ears would turn red. Years later, I realized my ears didn’t turn red but walking up to her with my ears covered with my hands likely gave me away.
I use it on my daughters now and it still works!
I don’t really get the appeal of trying to “get” your kids, but it definitely seems to be a popular thing.
Have you made up something like this to tell you own kids? Tell us the lie you’re proudest of down in the comments!