Just because kids haven’t been around for a long time, that doesn’t mean they can’t be wise beyond their years – or that a lack of time in the world can’t mean they see things in just a bit of a different way.
These 15 people can attest that they can and do, because they’ve heard some pretty witty comments out of little mouths.
15. Aren’t older siblings fun?
8 year old nephew talking to 4 year old nephew about eyebrows…
8 yo: I can raise one eyebrow demonstrates
4 yo: Ugggh I want to do that
8 yo: If you grow a unibrow you can do it easily
14. An excellent point, indeed.
I didn’t personally hear it, but when my friend was around 4 she was caught using a lighter to light toilet paper on fire.
When she got in trouble she told her parents, “well maybe BIG people shouldn’t leave lighters where LITTLE people can get them.” Valid point!
13. I cannot stop laughing.
Me: You were dropped as a child
My little brother: Yeah, dropped into a pool of sexy
12. She wants it both ways.
Child: I love pigs, pigs are cute eats hot dog
Me: Well I think that hot dog you’re eating might be partially made of pig.
Child: Nu-uh, it comes from cows.
Me: Well some hot dogs come from pigs, and you eat those.
Child: Well they taste good.
Me: I agree.
Child: Cows, pigs, people, who cares? We’re all a bunch of murderers anyway. I just wanna eat my hot dog and think pigs are cute.
8 years old.
11. This is going to be my answer from now on.
When my brother was about four, my mom woke up one morning to find him sitting contentedly in the kitchen with chocolate all over his face.
She asked him how much chocolate he ate, and he calmly replied, “just enough.”
10. It does now.
My nephew asked me if the DC in Washington DC stood for ‘Da Capital’
9. I mean.
I told my 5 year old niece she couldnt have any more candy because the sugar makes her crazy. She responded “it’s not the sugar that makes me crazy, its the craziness”.
And she’s right… studies have shown sugar to have little to no correlation in hyperactivity in children. Its just a convenient excuse people use to explain why their kids are acting like… well… kids.
8. Oh man, sick burn.
I missed a shot and said that I expected them to do better because they aren’t old like me, and this one kid says (innocently), “Has anyone ever made it to your age before?”
7. This is just pretty sad.
Trying to see why my son didn’t want to do anything at the beach, he replied, “Dad, when you were 14, did YOU want to hang out with your dad?”
6. They’re not wrong.
It’s not very witty, but it was very straightforward. A couple of years ago, when I was in college, I was doing a field placement in inner-Milwaukee.
Student: Well at least YOU get paid to be here.
Me: No, I don’t.
Student: Well, Miss ____, that’s some bullshit.
5. That’s more scary than witty.
My wife was painting a little girl’s face on the Fourth of July.
The sun was about to set and the girl looked at my wife and said, “You know the sun is going to explode one day, right?”
I was pregnant with twins and teaching kindergarten. One day my sister came to visit my class. She asked the students, “If I am Ms. TurtleBeansforAll’s sister, what will the babies call me?” Everybody thought about it and then one said, “Auntie,” to which another replied:
“No, they aren’t gonna call her anything because babies don’t talk.”
3. She’s seen the future.
My friend’s 6 year old girl
6 year old: I’ll be going to college soon
My friend: I hope not too soon, I’m gonna miss you.
6 year old: it’s okay. you’ll stop by, we’ll chat, grab Starbucks and then you’ll be on your way.
I laughed so freaking hard
2. Wise beyond his years.
My two (5 + 7) arguing today while having burgers
7 – “do you think cows are cute?, well you’re eating one hahah!”
5 – thinks a moment. “it’s their own fault. They should be tougher. I don’t eat lions”
1. They’re not known for their tact.
When she was 2 or 3, my niece asked that I brought her to bed when it was bedtime. Her parents told me, that I would have to sing a few songs, to help her fall asleep, no problem.
So we lay in bed, I am singing the few songs that I know, until she sits up and says “Uncle! Please stop singing. You sing so ugly I can’t sleep!”. o.O
Never underestimate kids, y’all. They will always surprise you!
What’s something witty you’ve heard from a child? Share it with us in the comments!