I would assume that most of us have changed in our thinking since we were kids. When we’re young, we believe pretty much everything our parents believe, and as we age and begin to think for ourselves, we have to decide whether or not we agree.
These 15 people definitely had some changes of heart (and head) as their experiences led them into adulthood, and they’re sharing them below.
15. The Peter Pans of the world.
People don’t grow up just because they get older.
I had to let go of a close friend a decade ago because of this. Our friend group was all growing up and becoming responsible adults. She got drunk every night, got engaged then called it off, had a baby she was in no way prepared to support, lost her house due to not paying mortgage.
Offered help multiple times but always refused. I hear she’s actually in a really good place now but we haven’t talked in 9 or 10 years. At that point in my life I just didn’t need the irresponsibility and drama.
14. Good enough is just fine.
That everything I did had to be perfect. Most of the time “good enough” is just that; good enough. Perfection is rarely required in the real world.
Arguably, perfection isn’t attainable in the real word.
It’s like a mathematical limit.
Ever closer, but…
13. You have to take care of yourself.
I realize that eating like shit all the time WILL have consequences for me. This hit home when I put on weight for the first time after a lifetime of eating whatever I wanted. I realized I wasn’t bulletproof, and now I try to eat healthier and be more conscious about my diet.
I got proper fat for the first time in my life at 40. Sucks. Was skinny as a youth, fit as an adult, and just thought I’d always be that way. And then I suddenly ballooned to over 110kg over the course of 2 years and somehow have to figure out how to lose this weight and massive belly.
12. People probably aren’t thinking about you.
I spent a lot of time when I was younger worrying what other people thought of me, when actually most people are just thinking about themselves and worrying what other people think of them.
On top of this, I realized that the coolest people I know did whatever they wanted. They may have also been worried about what people thought, but they didn’t act that way.
11. Time moves fast.
Time. moving so fast. From 1-17, it took forever. From 18-20 feels like a month to 20-30 its feel like a week.
There have been a lot of studies trying to explain this.
One theory is the holiday paradox, we perceive time slower when we have new experiences. As we get older, our lives become routine, we have less novel experiences and it feels faster.
Another is that we perceive time based on past experiences. For a 5 year old, 1 year is 20% of his life. For a 20 year old, it’s just 5%. Add in the fact that we don’t remember early childhood and the middle point would be ~17.
10. Focus on yourself.
Professionally, embarrassment/being thought ill of becomes less of a concern as you mature. But being ignore/passed over for advancement because very real concern.
I’m far less concerned with what people think of me. I realize everyone is self-absorbed. But definitely concerned about getting forgotten in the jumble.
9. Happiness is for yourself.
Happiness is only possible when you act in ways that make you happy, not in ways that impress other people.
8. Different strengths.
Just because I find something easy to do, it doesn’t mean it comes easy to others.
Just because someone else can do something doesn’t mean I can. I only fully understood this in my forties.
I run a training department for a living, and I wish more people understood this. All of the veterans give new operators a hard time because of the mistakes they make, and then go on to blame the trainers as well.
What they don’t realize is I remember training them, and I remember them making a lot of the same mistakes. There are some people who get it fairly quickly and seldom need additional coaching, and there are others who need to make mistakes in order for it to sink in – doesn’t matter how many times we’ve discussed a procedure with them, or how many different ways we’ve approached it previously.
Then there are others who just simply aren’t a good fit.
7. Make yourself happy.
For the most part, it doesn’t matter what strangers think of you. Unless you’re at a job interview or in a very serious situation, it really doesn’t matter – you will likely never see those people again.
Wear what you like, make a fool of yourself, do what makes you happy.
6. Other people’s shoes.
I became less of a judgmental person as I grew older. The fact that I used to make comments without thinking of others feelings or situations, made me realize how much of a jerk I was.
I regret all of it of course, but we all go through situations where we are judged without thinking. Looking at other people’s perspectives changed my life entirely.
5. Money is good, but…
When I was young I thought that all I need to be successful in life is money. Everything around me seemed to be blocked by money.
Now what I need is more hours in a day, more days in a week, more months in a year…
I think there was an old saying that went something like this.
As a child you have ambition and time but no money.
As an adult you have ambition and money but no time.
As you reach old age you have money and time but no ambition
4. Hold your tongue.
This is something I struggle with as I get older. I’m haunted by the things I’ve said about others.
10 years ago I might have said something about someone in a situation where I felt safe and trusted the people around me to keep it to themselves.
But as I got older I lost the context of the situations, and now I only have countless memories of talking ill of people all through my past without knowing how and where I said them.
Makes me feel like an awful person, and makes me believe people feel the same way about me.
The silver lining is that I now hold my tongue. I try to only ever have nice things to say about people. And it’s improved my life. I no longer have to worry about what has come out of my mouth, and I feel the positive effects of being less negative in general.
3. Noise is a no-no.
I hate loud exhausts on cars. When I was a teenager I thought it was cool as fuck when someone put a loud exhaust on their car and revved the f**k out of it… now it’s the single most annoying thing ever.
2. We can’t solve it all.
The world’s problems does not solely rest on my shoulders. I can do things at my own pace to get to where I want to be eventually.
I used to think that everything had to be done right then and there. Then I got too good at procrastinating. Now I’m trying to find a good balance between the two. The universe can wait. I’m on my own time today
1. It’s not so fun.
Kid/teen – awesome! He’s sticking it to the dumb parents and the even dumber principal!
Young adult – he’s kind of a brat.
45 yo – Ferris is a manipulator and a calculating user. What a dick. AND Jeannie clearly has some serious mental health issues that the parents don’t give a damn about. What’s wrong with this family?!
These are pretty reasonable I think, yeah?
What’s a notable perspective you had change as you grew? We want to hear about it in the comments!