It wasn’t so long ago that humans just assumed that all other humans wanted to make more humans. Sure, it’s a biological imperative and for more of our history, more people have been vital to the survival of the species, but there have always been outliers.
Today, when our brains have developed farther than ever before and there are so many factors to consider when thinking about bring a child into the world, people are opting out – and here are 16 people’s reasons why
16. Hopefully an uncomplicated cat.
Kids? In this economy?
No, I’ll just settle for my cat.
15. They’re trying to save others from their fate.
It’s expensive and I don’t wanna pass on my genes in particular.
I have an incurable autoimmune disease, and there’s at least a 20% chance I pass the disease I have on to my children, and not to mention the possibility of an even more severe autoimmune disease like lupus.
I don’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself if I passed that on to a child, especially with how much I struggle with my own disease.
14. They are thinking of the future.
Because I believe that children deserve parents that will love them, always put them first, spend quality time with them and make sacrifices so that their children can have the best opportunities. But at the same time have the strength to set boundaries and discipline them in a healthy way so that they grow into good human beings.
Also because I don’t currently have a partner or much financial stability in my life at this stage and I don’t want to be a single parent or bring a child into the world if I’m not in a position to provide for them.
And I don’t trust myself to be unselfish enough to be everything that I believe a child deserves. I sometimes catch myself thinking that children might be nice; but until I’m sure of myself, financially stable and in a steady relationship a child is unlikely to be in the picture.
Edit: First, I’d like to thank everyone for all of their replies, awards and input. Both those who agreed and who disagreed it’s always nice to get a balanced perspective on things. So please try not to downvote people who disagree with my statement into oblivion. A lot can be learned and taken from opinions that differ from your own.
Also I’d like to clarify that when I said sacrifices I don’t mean “drag me to the pyre and make me a martyr” sacrifices, obviously take care of your own health and wellbeing first. But unless you are in a very cushy place in life it is likely that, as a parent, you’ll have to make the decision on whether or not to forsake something for your kids.
Whether it’s something as small as not being able to get those new clothes that you wanted because your child needs some new stuff for school, or something like giving up your dream job because it would mean uprooting your child at a crucial stage in their learning. All of those are sacrifices and there are people out there who have ended up resenting their kids for less.
13. It’s just not for me.
I just have no desire. I don’t hate kids, I love my Nieces and Nephews and have a great time being an influential part of their life. However, that means that I also see how difficult and stressful it is to raise kids.
I understand that people really love it and it’s worth it to them, but that’s just not me.
12. There are a few reasons.
As someone who wants to become an elementary school teacher, people are often shocked to find out I don’t want children. But the reason is simple: they cost a LOT of money, they take op a lot of free time and space and I have terrible genes.
11. It can for sure be a lot.
A few years ago I was still deciding whether I would ever want to have kids until I spent the night at my sister’s house.
Seeing them rush back and forth trying to get ready for the day while also trying to get my niece showered and ready while my nephew cried in my ear at 120 decibels at 8am made me realize I definitely didn’t want kids.
10. Teaching convinced him.
I am a child-free high school biology and chemistry teacher. When I first started teaching, I was kinda on the fence about having kids. I just finished my 9th year teaching and I love my job, but I am now 100% certain I don’t want my own kids.
I love my students and you’re right, having a free captive audience while I nerd out about some topic is awesome, but I couldn’t stand coming home and spending the rest of my limited time with even more children.
It’s convinced me enough I’m going to get snipped next month.
9. They’re out of patience.
This is me 100%. I love kids. Other people’s kids. I love spending time with them and teaching them and I have been volunteering in youth ministry for my church for 36 years. I also have 5 nephews and a great nephew as well as being “aunt” to the children of many of my friends.
But I also love sending them home when the class/day/outing is over. The stress of being 100% responsible for a child or children 100% of the time is just not for me. I can be a lot more loving and patient with “my kids” because they go home with someone else.
8. It makes sense to them.
I’m a child-free teacher, and I honestly don’t know why more teachers don’t want to be child-free too.
I love my job, and it is an absolute privilege to help their futures, and I really do feel like I’m putting something into the next generation.
I just don’t have a desire for the next generation to have my genes.
Also without wanting to be too crass. I kind of value being able to go home and have somewhere that isn’t full of kids.
And that doesn’t seem illogical to me.
If I was a doctor, I wouldn’t want to have a bunch of sick people in my house.
7. Simple, but powerful for many.
6. A simple lack of desire.
Lack of desire to become a parent or have kids.
You know how some people want kids so bad, they suffer mentally and emotionally from not having them or knowing they can’t have them?
How people say they feel hormonal, wanting kids real bad, they can’t control it? Their ovaries are exploding? Baby fever? Or any other colloquialism about wanting to have a baby real soon?
Never had that. People kept telling me that as I’d grow older, would reach my 30s, find my soulmate, my friends start having children, etc., I would start to have that feeling. I went through all these milestones and I still EDIT don’t have that desire for kids.
And I don’t think it’s necessary to have kids if one does not have the desire for it.
5. They’re breaking the cycle.
In psych class we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth. The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy.
When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn’t know how to care for them. I was raised horribly so I don’t know how to raise someone well.
My parents had children even though their parents abused them. My grandparents’ parents probably also abused them. I’m just cutting off the cycle.
4. They’re just not that cute.
I think kittens and cats are the pinnacle of cuteness. Human babies are just okay. Kids have far more annoying moments than impressive and cute ones.
3. Sometimes you don’t think you can do better.
You know how people often say “I’ll do a better job than my parents ever did”? Yeah, that doesn’t always work out that way.
My parents were absolutely horrible to us. My sibling said “I’ll do a better job!”, she really thought she would. She didn’t. She didn’t finish her education, just like our parents didn’t. She’s completely overwhelmed with taking care of her children, just like our parents were. Her husband is trash, just like our father was. She has untreated mental issues, just like our mother had. Her children are unruly, constantly fight, have zero manners.
She didn’t do a better job.
I did get help for my issues, and I can safely say that I will not be a better parent. The one thing I can do is take in teens as a foster parent, so I can help them with school, going to university and getting the proper help. Because if I can do it, so can they. Teens deserve help. I don’t need to put children on this planet if there are plenty for me to help. I wish someone had helped me when I was a teenager.
2. It doesn’t seem that great.
That whole thing about your friends start having kids and it will make you want one. Funny thing was people around me having kids was the exact reason my 50/50 went to I don’t want them.
I can tolerate kids for short spans of time like I’ll babysit but at the end of the day I don’t have to deal with the stressful part of having kids( sickness, tantrums, money, etc.)
1. They feel complete.
Freedom. My husband and I would probably be pretty good parents and we’re in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other.
We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids.
I think any reason for not having kids is valid, to be honest, but hearing them is for sure interesting.
What are your reasons for not having kids? For having them? Enlighten us in the comments!