Marriage is tough on the best of days, but if you’re in it with a person who is intent on making it work as much as you are, it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.

If you’ve been or are married, there are just some things you know are true for everyone – below are 16 of those things, and if nothing else, they’ll make you feel like we’re all kind of in this together.

16. It’s important to know what parts of your partner need to be scratched from time to time.

Maybe especially when you don’t feel like doing it.

15. Sometimes sex is tedious and boring and you’re tired and not in the mood and that’s a fact of life.

Sometimes you do it anyway, and it’s really not as bad as you thought.

14. You will absolutely recognize your marriage issues in family sitcoms which means that your marriage is not as special and unique as you probably thought it was.

Which is kind of a good thing, because that means your problems aren’t special, either.

13. If you’re not talking about sex — what makes your eyes rollback, what makes them just roll — chances are it’s not that great.

Never stop trying to be better in all aspects of your marriage.

12. At some point, you have to stop being “lovers” and start being teammates who f*ck occasionally.

And idk that’s kind of my favorite point.

11. Everyone thinks about leaving. That’s just a part of staying.

It doesn’t mean you’re going to.

10. Arguing before coffee is a waste of time.

No one is in their right mind.

9. Having a kid bonds you, sure. You’re doing it together, and learning together. It will also lead to intense power struggles and some of the most bare-knuckled brawls you never imagined you’d have. About things like the best way to burp the baby, or what kind of cheese you should use in that seven-layer dip recipe.

It really does change everything.

8. There will come a time when your most regular texts from your spouse will be “Can you pick up X from the grocery store?”

It’s not sexy, but it’s helpful. Which is kind of sexy.

7. Every married couple should probably talk about finances way more often than they are.

I feel this all the way down to my bones.

6. Forgiveness is for people you don’t share a bed with. Forgetfulness is for people you do.

The phrase is forgive and forget for a reason.

5. Talking about your partner behind their back is a good thing. To be married is to be in need of advice.

We all need a little help from our friends.

4. But there’s certain information that your spouse will consider confidential.

You need to be keenly aware of the difference.

3. Anniversaries stop being special around year ten.

Or two, if you’re me.

2. A good marriage can survive you being honest about your kink.

Hey, it might even make it a great marriage.

1. Not everything needs to be equal. In fact, nothing ever really is.

Just try your best to make sure that it’s fair.

So, what we’re saying is, you’re not alone!

Good luck out there married friends; it can be a rough row to hoe, but the harvest is worth it (most of the time).