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16 Parenting Tweets That Are the Real Deal

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When you’re about to have your first baby, parenting books are your jam. And they’re great, for some things, but most of us quickly learn the hard truth – every child is different, every family is different, and blanket advice can sometimes make you more angry than anything else.

If you’re looking for real deal parenting advice, though, these 16 parents who have been there have your back.

16. Also, he can do this forever.

Until you develop an eye twitch, forsure.

15. Ah, small humans.

They’re so much like big humans, when you think about it.

14. He’s got to impress the ladies.

I’m not even mad at him.

13. Give it your best shot.

And realize up front that you might all be vegetarians afterward.

12. Texted my mom this tonight.

My baby is a big boy and I don’t like it one bit.

11. Time to break out “you’re grounded.”

Because you need to get the last word.

10. Wow he’s a cooler parent than I am.

Imagine your kids wanting your input online.

9. Also punch you in the eye. And the nose.

There’s no way to escape unscathed.

8. It seems so cheap up front.

That’s how they get you.

7. Bless his heart.

And bless yours, for raising a couple of boys. #solidarity

6. One of many delightful firsts.

So many of them contain poop.

5. You knew she wasn’t really going to let you sleep.

How could she torture you properly otherwise?

4. She’s never going to finish it.

I’m sorry if that’s a spoiler but it’s true.

3. Definitely not adorable.

Not even when you’ve been there, tbh.

2. They do love their penises.

It starts young, my friends.

1. Gotta love realizing you’re raising a smarta$s.

Proud mom moment right there.

I love all of this advice – I wish this had been in a book before I had my first!

What parenting advice do you wish someone had given you before you jumped in feet first? Tell us in the comments!