We’re all feeling our way along this year, between virus precautions, possible vaccines, the world (literally) burning down, and our kids either full or part time distance learning at home.
That latter seems like it might be the thing to break us, to be honest, and these 16 parents speak for all of us – HELP!
16. That honestly hurt you more than it did them, anyway.
Or at least as much.
I’d say the hardest part about remote learning is that I can no longer threaten to ground my kids from screens because honestly that was really all I had.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 3, 2020
15. I doubt that was in the lesson plan.
You’ve gotta be flexible, I guess.
Current topic of Zoom kindergarten: how to raise your hand so that it doesn't get cropped by the camera.
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) August 27, 2020
14. Remember those posts aren’t real.
Just outside the frame, everything is a disaster.
Love the first day of school pics of your kids with their laptops at the kitchen table and esp love the flowers strategically placed in the background but we should also get to see the pics where everyone’s losing their shit and screaming that everything sucks. Cause balance.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 2, 2020
13. Anything to start the mess well rested.
It probably still didn’t help, though.
‘Twas the night before remote schooling started and all through the house, not a creature was stirring because Mommy had given them all copious amounts of melatonin then taken triple her Xanax with a Grey Goose chaser.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) September 8, 2020
11. Anything to fill the time.
Please, just keep them another thirty minutes.
All the grandparents out there watching grandkids while they attend virtual schooling: now’s your chance to teach them cursive.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 18, 2020
10. This kid is going places.
See what I did there?
one kid in my daughter’s 1st grade class figured out how to change his background to an Amtrak and he’d yell in the middle of class “gotta go! my train is here!”
— Rupal Parekh (@rupalparekh) September 3, 2020
9. Spelling is important.
We’re old school around here.
Virtual school vocabulary:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 1, 2020
8. Probably not on purpose.
Just a happy coincidence.
It's called "remote learning" because of the remote chance my kids are going to learn anything.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 4, 2020
7. Lessons that will last a lifetime.
Who says kindergarten is all play?
So far my 5yo’s remote school is mostly learning how to mute and unmute which means the tradition of learning everything you need to know in kindergarten is alive and well.
— Farah Miller (@farahlearned) September 8, 2020
6. Don’t want to build him up too much.
That won’t work out well for anyone.
“Remember, you are a generally intelligent human and passed 4th grade”
-Me to me on the first day of e-learning for my 5th grader
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) August 10, 2020
5. Kids are my favorite.
Also, you can play Boggle online?
My 3rd grader’s class is playing Boggle on Zoom. A girl called out a word I couldn’t hear, then said, “As in ‘human flesh,’” and now I’m frantically searching the screen for what her word is.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 24, 2020
4. He’s not wrong.
Just showing up is enough right now. Remember that.
I expressed worry about 13 yo’s 4 hours per day, 4 days per week virtual schedule and he assured me that it’s fine because you don’t need to be smart anymore.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) August 21, 2020
3. We can learn much from this generation.
Mental health breaks are necessary.
Zoom preschool is both hilarious and depressing. My 4 year old keeps unmuting himself and yelling 'I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME! IS THIS MEETING OVER YET?'
— Alexis Diao (@meowdiao) September 2, 2020
2. Restock at the end of the week.
Alexa will remind you.
School supply list for virtual learning:
One box of crayons for kid
One one bottle of wine for me
Two glue sticks for kid
Two bottles of wine for me
One pair of scissors for kid
Three bottles of wine for me
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) August 24, 2020
1. This made me laugh a lot.
I wonder how long before she listened to them.
My friends 1st grader (who is in the same class as the kid I’m nannying) told the class her favorite part of summer was seeing a brown booby and both her mom and step dad are in the background going “tell them it’s a bird. Explain it’s a bird. It’s a seabird tell them that” 🤣
— Oh Gee, its almost halloween (@ohgeeitsdeegee) September 3, 2020
I do not envy all of you school-aged parents and your decisions!
I’m sure you do not envy my home full-time with a 4 and 2yo, either, though.