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16 People Recall The Real Stumpers They’ve Heard From Kids

Some people think that kids aren’t very smart, or that they don’t spend time thinking about anything except snacks and video games, but anyone who has one knows the truth – they’re small humans, and their brains are pure and innocent and definitely work overtime.

If you need more proof that they see the world differently than we do (in the best way possible), listen to these 16 amazing questions people heard from children.

16. The obvious answer.

A child approached my father, who is 6’6′, and asked “Mr, are you God?”

If Ghostbusters has taught me anything, it’s to always answer “Yes” to this question.

15. Yes they are, son. But don’t tell them.

Not insightful, more WTF:

Shopping at our local supermarket, my 3 year old (at the time) looks around, and suddenly asks, at the only volume he knows (11):

“Daddy, are these all those ‘stupid people’?”

14. Why would I do that?

If you traveled into the future and killed yourself, would it be murder or suicide?

the other day by my friend’s 9 year old

13. Oof, that hurts.

My four year old brother: Do people die like flowers do?

My mother almost cried.

12. Actually terrifying.

She said “What if you can’t hear the smoke alarm because you have headphones on?” Ummm…someone will hear it sweetie. I had to demonstrate how loud it was with the test button to convince her.

“What if when we call the firemen they ALL have headphones in and cannot hear the alarm?” Ummm…they can’t all wear headphones. It’s against the rules.

She finally asks “So what happens when there is a fire and no one can hear it and by the time we do the firemen can’t get here fast enough and there is a tornado, and it catches fire from our house, so we are driving away, but the road is shaking?”

It was the first time a child genuinely scared me. I explained that would never happen, but now I have nightmares about fucking fire tornados chasing my family during an earthquake where no one can hear us scream.

11. Oh his little heart.

My girlfriends dad was driving home his son, David, who was then around 7. David was lying on that shelf that most sedans have behind the back seat so that he could watch the stars through the rear mirror.

It was completely silent when David says, “I wish people could think of a different word for love so that it was easier to understand… “. The dad was speechless and kept on driving.

10. Science is cool.

I remember when I was in 3rd or 4th grade science class, I asked my teacher “If there isn’t any air in space, then how does the Sun burn?” Being the awesome science teacher that she was, she didn’t hold back anything and told me that it was a nuclear reaction, and that it didn’t need air to happen.

I loved that teacher. Fortunately, my science teachers through the years have only gotten better and better.

9. I mean. Technically.

My niece: “Uncle, how hard do I have to jump so that I don’t come back down?”

Me: Jesus Christ, this kid is asking what her escape velocity is.

8. Indeed.

cookies are baking, and my 3 year old Niece asks, “Are the cookies loading?”

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

7. Tell me you’re not thinking about this now.

In the middle of dinner, with no context: “What did it feel like on your last day of being a child?”

6. Because we’re all just pretending.

“Why do most grown ups still act like little kids?” Amen.

About 4 years old, give or take a year.

5. Yep, pretty sure.

My nephews, 3 and 5, are obsessed with their weiners. They were proudly showing em off after a swim and asked to see mine. I explained I had a vagina not a penis.

The littlest one prodded me in the crotch (awkward) and said “Are you sure?” :/

4. Because climbing is the best.

About 2 days ago, I went to the park, to go get some sun and exercise. There is a big pyramid of ropes (it’s actually quite cool), and all of the children were playing on it. When all of the sudden I hear a kid ask “Why are we climbing this?”

I just laughed to myself, admitting that it is pretty silly to think that we just put some ropes up for no reason but to climb up, and then climb down. Kids are probably the smartest of us all. They haven’t been tainted by society just yet.

3. They live together, obviously.

While on a flight a little girl turned to me and said, “If the Care Bears live up here, then where does Jesus live?”

2. It kind of makes sense.

My four year old daughter came to the conclusion that Santa Clause moonlights as a pirate 364 days of year. She figured they both have beards, they wear the same boots and belt, and both say Yo Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.

I thought that was pretty outstanding for a little kid.

1. This made me laugh.

I had a deep voice for my age at around 16, and looked pretty young as well. One day I was having my haircut and enjoying a conversation with my hairdresser when a little kid stood up from his seat and walked over to me. He looked up and asked, “Are you a daddy?” (probably because of my voice)

Before I could reply, his dad said, “I’m sure he hopes not.”

I wouldn’t know how to answer most of these and that’s the best part about them.

What’s the best question you’ve heard from a kid? Drop it in the comments!

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