Some people might have it in their heads that kids aren’t smart just because they don’t have as much worldly experience as the rest of us, but most of us who own children know that’s patently untrue.
Kids are smart and intuitive, and they know how to put things into words in a way adults seem to have forgotten.
Sometimes, they’re downright witty – which these 16 people’s stories are about to prove beyond a doubt.
16. Answer: it depends.
I was on a crowded train when it stopped for a few minutes. The standard prerecorded “We are sorry for the delay to your journey” announcement came on over the loudspeaker. “Are you REALLY?” said the small child standing behind me.
If an adult or older child had said that I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but for a child about 5/6 years old to so perfectly sum up what every passenger was thinking was pretty amusing.
15. This is hilarious.
I was at a big park with my girlfriend, standing on a bridge overlooking a river. There was another small group looking over as well, two parents and their 4 or 5 year old kid. The father was pointing at something a bit far away “Look, a turtle!”
The kid tells him “Dad, that’s not a turtle, that’s a rock.” The dad insists it’s a turtle.
The kid points at another obvious rock and goes “Oh look, another turtle!” Rarely have I heard someone so young deliver something so sarcastic in such a dry manner.
14. This kid deserves all the friends.
It wasn’t to me but when my cousin was a kid ~10 years old or so he had a big bag of skittles. His father has diabetes that is fairly under control but he always eats whatever he wants anyway.
He asks my cousin something like “hey buddy, what you got there?” and my cousin without missing a beat turns to him, holds out the bag, and says “amputation, you want some?”
I was cracking up for days thinking about that one lol.
13. I’m going to steal that.
“What are you doing?”
“Answering questions.”
“Touche”
12. When they’re just spot-on.
Child: “Hey, what are you humming?” Me: “Oh it’s called, “The Song that Never Ends” Child: “Oh, November Rain?”
This was a 10 yr old I taught last year…I couldn’t stop laughing at her logic, let alone the fact she knows that song.
11. She’s not wrong.
My mom is a grade 2 teacher and one year had a very sassy little girl named Heather. One day, students came in complaining from recess that Heather was spreading a rumor that two of the other students had kissed under the jungle gym. My mom pulled Heather aside and the following conversation ensued:
Mom: Heather, you can’t talk about people behind their back. Do you know what it’s called when you do that?
Heather: Yeah. It’s called socializing.
10. Dang, girl.
Told my 3yo cousin that not sharing is ugly, after looking me up and down she replies “Maybe, but so is dressing like that” while pointing at me.
9. Thanks I love it.
When I worked in retail, we had a christmas tree up before halloween like so many other retail establishments. A kid walked in, couldn’t have been older than 8, there with his dad.
As I’m helping them out, we begin a light conversation and get onto the topic of holidays as tends to happen around that time of the year. I mention my casual disdain for displaying a christmas tree before halloween.
The kid took a second, clearly thinking to himself for a moment, and responds: “well maybe it’s just a regular tree that dressed up as a christmas tree for halloween.”
8. Some do, at any rate.
Not me, but my brother in law tells this tale.
He was driving with his three year old daughter some years back and to keep her amused during the drive he was asking her what noises different animals make.
Dad: What does a cow say?
Girl: Mooo
Dad: What does a cat say?
Girl: Meow
Dad: What does a pig say?
Girl: Oink oink.
Then dad decides to mess with the girl.
Dad: What does a turtle say?
Girl: (hesitates a moment, then bursts out smiling) Kowabunga dude!
7. Omg I would have been dead.
My daughter to my sister in law when she was 3-4. “Why are you so fat?” My sil “because I’ve had two kids.” My daughter “did you eat them?”
Made my sil laugh and cry at the same time.
6. He’s found that workaround.
5 year old neighbor kid used to come over to hang out with me (I was 30). He was the middle kid of seven children and his father had left so I was kind of his big brother. He had been in some trouble at school for acting up and swearing so I had established the rule that he couldn’t say swear words unless an adult had used them first.
One day we were riding bikes when he suddenly and deliberately accelerated into a large pile of brush that had been left for pick-up. I don’t know what he thought would happen but it promptly removed him from his bike and deposited him on his a$$.
As he dusted himself off he calmly asked me, “What is that word was that meant poop but was worse?” I replied, “S*%t???” “Yeah”, he said, then “S*%T, S*%T, S*%T, S*%T…!!!”
I nearly fell off my own bike laughing.
5. He’s definitely smart.
One day my father asked my nephew, about age 8, “If you could choose one would you want to be be smart, handsome, or rich?”
Nephew thought about it for a second and said, “Rich, I’m already the other two.”
4. I mean that is a weird thing to do.
My brother in law put my almost 2 year old niece in the tub before turning the water on. She looks up at him and says “What the hell?”
She had never said it before and the fact that she understood what context to use that phrase blew us away.
3. Bless that boy.
My son, when he was four to an asshole adult:
“I’m small, not stupid.”
2. You might want to circle back to that.
At a restaurant my daughter was speaking loudly. My husband told her to use her inside voice. She looked at him in confusion and loudly whispered, “My inside voice tells me to burn things”.
At first there was dead silence then we asked her to select anything she wished from the desert menu.
1. She’s learned early.
My friend’s 6 year old daughter told me she didn’t trust people who smile at her all the time because she felt like they probably wanted something from her.
I think I was in my twenties before I had that kind of insight.
I love kids, y’all. They’re the best.
Tell me more stories like these in the comments!