I think that many parents have realized that the tighter you squeeze your control over your kids, the more likely they are to find the weak spots where they can slip through. More of us are going with parenting styles that involve, you know, trusting our kids and even – gasp – giving them privacy when they ask for it.
That said, when you live in close proximity to other humans beings, there’s no way to avoid learning each other’s secrets. It’s inevitable.
These 17 parents know more than a few things, but out of respect (and other reasons), there’s no way they’re letting on that they know.
17. I mean come on with the cuteness.
I setup a little fairy door in my daughter’s room when she was 7.
She’s 10 now. She writes her fairy letters and her fairy write back.
She doesn’t know her Dad is Luna the fairy!
16. That’s a moment.
Their Reddit user names.
One of them took a pic of his knees and dropped pants while on the toilet to post to Reddit when it was a thing to show the marks your elbows made on your legs from browsing Reddit while sitting on the can.
I did a double take – that’s my bath mat! I just bought those shoes! That’s my bathroom and my kid!
15. Go with that for as long as possible.
For a long time my daughter thought I had some sort of superpower to make her hurt herself; for example I might say ‘don’t run, you’ll fall over’, and immediately after she’d fall or ‘if you climb up there you’ll hurt yourself’ and she’d do it, so she was convinced I’d made it happen rather than just having life experience.
14. He’s forgotten you were a teenager, too.
My 15 y/o doesn’t realize I know what he is doing when he locks his bedroom door.
13. Just a suspicion.
I don’t know this to be a fact, but I have a strong suspicion that my prepubescent son will grow up to be either homo or bisexual. Clues so far:
Talks about liking “sweaty dudes”…frequently.
Only ever wants blue figures in his Game of Life van.
Often talks about growing up and having “a bunch of dudes” move in with him instead of a wife or girlfriend.
He’s asked about different sexualities and if they’re bad/wrong.
12. Bless their hearts.
I have seen their browsing history. They think they are incognito mode but it is just chrome with a dark theme.
Was a total accident. Being a shared laptop in the house, I just prefer the dark theme. But since discovering the history it has been changed back.
11. Moms always know.
That their nightly trips to the “store” isn’t for getting a soda but getting high.
10. He’ll learn soon enough.
My son is 7 and he thinks I don’t know that he sneaks on to youtube to watch five nights at freddies videos. The exaggerated jump when I walk in, him click click clicking to close the tab, the panicked look on his face, hilarious.
He thinks I’m magic because I just show up when he puts it on but the truth is, he doesn’t know how to adjust the volume yet and it’s always so loud.
9. I love this so much.
My little one is almost 4. He thinks I don’t know that he “secretly” calls his papa when he’s supposed to be sleeping. my dad knows I know, but it’s become a routine and it’s absolutely adorable to hear my son secretly tell Papa all about his day as well as saying their night time prayers.
8. Pretty much anything.
Hard towels, socks, etc…
Yeah one day my mom just quit doing laundry for us and told us to take care of it. As one of three boys we were like what the heck.
Years later it dawned on my what the cause likely was.
7. What would be the point?
My parents never confronted me about the pair of my Exes underwear that went missing from my room back home freshman year but I know I certainly didn’t move them.
6. I want to give her a hug.
I figured out my daughter was bi a few years ago. She was super close to one of her girl friends. Normally, that would mean nothing because that’s what most girls do. However, there were sweet lovey dovey letters as well as gifts. I said nothing because if she’s happy… I am too.
Then this girl broke my daughter’s heart and I wanted to hurt her. She ended up telling me everything. I was so very proud of how she dealt with the situation. She did better than I would have at that age.
5. No no scrubs.
My kids are old now, but I knew exactly when they started smoking pot.
I didn’t want to tell them I was happy about it because that seems weird. So I just didn’t say anything.
But damn, I was happy to hear Pink Floyd coming out of their room instead of TLC.
4. None of were as slick as we thought.
Lots of little things like the magnum condom in his desk drawer.
Makes me realize just how many things I thought I was getting away with that I probably wasn’t.
3. Dads a good wingman.
Got my son a new phone and had to back up his old phone. So he unlocked it and I snooped through some texts. Found out on the coming Friday (it was a Tuesday I think), he was suppose to hook up with some chick who promised him a BJ, at the football game. As far as I know, he is pretty inexperienced and had not done much sexually (kind of confirmed in the texts with this girl).
So Thursday comes and he loses his new phone. Tried tracking it, yada yada but someone stole it. I was was pretty pissed off, ground him, etc. Friday comes, he goes to a friends house after school, texts me from his friends phone asking if he could go to the football game. I remember the BJ and say yes. How am I gonna deny my son his first BJ lol…
2. I hope they keep doing this as they get older.
My son is only two so he doesn’t have huge things to hide from me (yet) but when I catch him doing something he’s not supposed to (playing in the toilet, touching the TV, etc) he’ll turn around all surprised and get in a cowboy western stance with his legs apart and squints his eyes like “what are you gonna do about it?”
He’s the best.
1. A tough call.
Pretty sure my 4yo has ADHD.
But I’ve seen some truly horrible mentalities arise out of telling kids this too early, especially in educational settings, so I totally plan on implementing some behavior management but not really talking about it in depth until he’s a bit older.
This is just good parenting, if you ask me.
Also, everyone knows when you’ve got good cards you keep the close to your vest.
Just in case.