Okay, so I would guess that every parent in the history of forever could answer this question with an affirmative. Kids are weird, they have no real conception of boundaries, and when you live with any human being for eighteen-plus years you’re bound to walk in on them doing something weird at least once. And vice versa.
The difference is that these 17 people took to the internet to share the weird with everyone else – and I don’t know about you, but I sure am thankful.
17. How do I order a kid like that?
I woke up to my five year old spraying windex on the window beside my bed, cleaning it thoroughly, then nodding at me and moving on to cleaning the windows in the next room. I still don’t know what the hell was happening.
She told me before bed that it needed cleaned so her cat could look out.. the bottom of the windows get smeared because the cats push their faces against it. So she wanted it clean for them.
16. Random, but good looking out?
When my son was about 4 he was playing in his playroom. I was on the couch and heard some sounds behind me (it was just us). So I turn and see my son looking up at the light fixtures and whispering. I ask what hes doing. His response: I’m asking all the lightbulbs in the house to not fall and kill you.
Thanks son! He’s truly got my back.
15. What on earth! Hahahaha.
We caught my sons (maybe 6 and 3 at the time) both sitting on the toilet together, one behind the other, pooping. They told us it was a double poop. We forbid them from ever doing that again.
Edit to add: For those of you who think we are terrible parents because we stopped our children from doing double poops, please know they seem to be well adjusted and appear to have no permanent damage from this incident. We have provided them with ample outlets for their creativity that do not involve poop. 🙂
14. That’s an original idea right there.
My son licked my toe.
I asked him what he was doing, and he said “ time traveling.”
He was three.
13. I’ve had to stop my kid from licking the dog.
Caught my 2 year old son licking the floor.
He seemed really into it.
12. I tell my kid he’s a delightful little weirdo all the time.
Found my kid talking to the hole in the sink when he was 2. Turns out that’s where he said god lives. Carry on, ya weirdo.
Ex’s eldest hoarded cardboard tubes. If asked they were simply for later. The youngest adopted and formed a strong emotional bond with a garlic for about a week.
11. I mean, it sort of seems like a good idea.
My brother decided he wanted a pee hat, which is literally what it sounds like, a hat he could pee in during the night. While already a stupid idea (since he didn’t empty it), he chose a plastic hat with hole in it.
It was a toy construction hat with 2/4 holes in the top, meaning his makeshift toilet had 2/4 holes for the pee to leak from. And he was keeping it in his toy box.
10. Lesson learned, I suppose. Just one you never thought you’d have to teach.
Few years ago the “cinnamon challenge” was a thing.
Walked in the door to my son with his head under the kitchen faucet gulping and spitting water. He accidentally grabbed the cumin instead of the cinnamon.
9. That definitely came up at his high school graduation.
When my brother-in-law was three he was so obsessed with the toilet plunger they had to buy him his own so he’d stop grabbing the used one.
It was his best friend.
8. I’m definitely going to try this.
When my son was about 3 years old, he liked to wash his eyebrows with my facial cleanser.
Just the eyebrows. Wet, lather, rinse, repeat. He said it made them nice and soft.
7. The way their minds work is just omg wow.
My 5 Yr old nephew went to feed the chickens yesterday, I told him to get a hat- he came back fully naked with gumboots and a straw hat on. Apparently the last time he went to the chicken house they pecked at his junk, and he wants to show them that it’s not big enough to eat yet??? Kids are weird
6. That’s when you just shrug and say thanks for playing alone together.
My boys share a room. They were about 2 and 7 at the time and I walked in their room and found them rocking on their hands and knees singing “we aaaaaaareeeee the weeeeeeeeeeeeiner doooogs”.
I have no fucking idea.
5. Always good to have some ammo packed away.
Packing turds into cardboard tubes with toilet paper and hiding em under the sink.
she called them “poop bombs”. there was like 10 of em under there.
4. Well both of those definitely qualify as odd.
Not my child but I’ve caught my sister doing multiple strange things as a child.
The two most notable were: I once caught her playing with a bag with yellowish liquid inside when she was 10. She had pulled this bag from the side of her backpack. I asked her what it was, it was her own pee. She had been keeping it in there for days and once in a while she’d pull it out go play with. I was horrified. When she was 8, she cut off her dolls hair. Dismembered it and gave it a funeral which she made all of us attend. She went to dig it up several days later but it wasn’t there.
She’s done many other things but those were the two weirdest things she did.
3. Nothing is getting past that girl’s immune system.
Let’s see, my daughter was drinking strawberry milk and then spitting it back into the cup so she could drink it again.
I had hosed off a tarp and it was drying on the patio, we went outside and she just stooped down and took a drink out of a puddle on the tarp. just today I was in the garage and she came out, instantly grabbed a toothbrush I use to clean car parts and stuck it in her mouth. I don’t even know anymore.
2. Not just one but many.
Packing peas from our garden up her nose.
This required a trip to the local hospital emergency room, where the doctor (a dad of several young children himself) thought it was hilariously funny. Soon my wife and I were laughing as well.
1. I feel like a lot of kids might have done this.
My mom caught me bringing eggs from the kitchen into my room and sitting on them in a blanket nest, hoping they’d hatch.
What she didn’t catch was that I had been doing this for a while and would put the eggs back into the fridge when they wouldn’t hatch after a few days.
My kids are only three and eighteen months and I’ve already caught them being weird, so I can only imagine what’s to come.
What’s your favorite story like this about your kids? Share it with us in the comments!