There’s no getting around the fact that, for kids (and fine, for adults), farts are funny. I would have argued this point before I had two (male) children, but I’ve got to admit, I laugh as hard as anyone when one slips out on an inopportune (?) moment.

If you’ve got kids, chances are you could have a hundred fart jokes in your back pocket and it would only get you through a couple of weeks – so here are 18 more to add to your arsenal.

18. Why doesn’t Chuck Norris fart?

Because nothing escapes Chuck Norris.

17. Why are ninja farts so dangerous?

They’re silent but deadly.

16. What’s the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it.

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15. What do you call a person who never farts in front of other people?

A private tooter.

14. What do you call it when someone eats refried beans and onions?

Tear gas.

13. Why should you never fart in church?

You have to sit in your own pew.

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12. What do you call a fart in German?


11. What do you call it when someone has a ton of gas after eating?

A fart attack.

10. How is love like a fart?

If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.


9. Why should you never fart on an elevator?

It’s wrong on so many levels.

8. Why did the man stop telling fart jokes?

Everyone told him they stunk.

7. What happened to the blind skunk?

He fell in love with a fart.


6. What do you get when the Queen of England farts?

A noble gas.

5. Did you just fart?

Because you blew me away.

4. Why couldn’t the skeleton fart in front of his friends?

He didn’t have the guts.

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3. How are farts like children?

You don’t mind your own but can’t stand other people’s.

2. Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken next to her farted.

1. Why did the man get fired from his job delivering fart awareness pamphlets?

He let one rip.

I’m going to use every single one of these and then regret it when my 3yo tells them at preschool. Watch.

What are your favorite fart jokes? I know you’ve got them, so hit us with them in the comments!